When we have passed beyond individualising,
then we shall be real Persons. Ego was the helper;
ego is the bar.
‘Thoughts and Aphorisms
About this time every year since the beginning of our Horse Saga, the experience reaches a culmination. It is then possible to pause, assemble the components and analyse the work completed thus far. To date we have examined a series of races within the Gnostic Circle’s cycle of 9. There have been two major equine protagonists, F1 and F2. In addition, there was the jockey, whom I have called Eve for the purposes of this study, as well as the trainer who is referred to as Adam. The reasons for these designations were thoroughly explained in the last treatment which appeared in VISHAAL, 8/5, December 1993.
In that issue I dealt with various recondite and ill-understood aspects of destiny. To recapitulate to some extent, it was made clear through the remarkable play of circumstances and the accompanying analysis that the Supramental Shakti, controller of destiny, is limited in her potential to intervene and arrange destiny according to higher laws simply because any such intervention within the existing boundaries of a given situation, whatever that may be, would bring colossal destruction or irredeemable chaos. Such intervention cannot occur unless there is a cosmos in existence, brought about by the formation of a centre according to certain laws. With a ‘centre that holds’ in this special way, intervention is possible in a safe and entirely, minutely controlled manner. The outcome of such an intervention is always an acceleration of the manifestation of the central divine Purpose of the particular cosmos in question.
The process of creation, or bringing a centre into being, refers to the macrocosm as well as to the microcosm. In particular for the purposes of our analysis, the human being is in an especially privileged position to participate consciously in the creation of a cosmos, – or a system wherein the ‘centre holds’ and can therefore serve as a nucleus on the basis of which a new world is born of whatever dimension.
I have often discussed the impact such a centre and nucleus have on the evolution of the species. But at this point it is important to dissect the nature of that action insofar as the process being enacted and described cannot be equated with evolution as we know it. Properly speaking, when a true centre has come into being and stands at the heart of such a process, there is no evolution as an outcome of its expanding, propelling activity. Rather, we must describe the new action as a manifestation and no longer an evolution. In the course of this analysis the reasons for the distinction will be made clear. In what way does this bear relevance to our Horse Saga will also be made clear when the experience draws to a culmination and a victorious breakthrough came to pass entirely under the tutelage and minute control of the Supramental Shakti.
In the early part of this century the Mother was practising occultism under the guidance of her then teacher, Theon. Regarding his teachings concerning the cosmos, the astrological ages and their characteristics, it seems he held that this Manifestation was the seventh, according to his calculations, and that unlike those before, this 7th bore certain special characteristics. Primarily, this would be an eternal manifestation and would not be subjected to the usual process of creation and then destruction; or Pralaya, as it is called in the Vedic tradition. If the 7th were related to the 7th astrological sign, Libra, then it would indicate a sort of ‘steady state’ phenomenon whereby a balance of energies would come into being and thus an overpowering of one of the gunas, Rajas, Sattva and Tamas, could not take place. Hence, the unending unfolding of that particular creation.
This is one way of expressing the unusual importance of our Age. It is a period in which, as the Mother emphasised, a new world is being born. This cosmology offers a more comprehensive as well as a more applicable formula than Theon’s to describe the nature of this ‘new world’. In our terms, what renders the present times ‘new’, as well as offering the promise of a total shift in the mechanism of evolution, wherein destruction has always played a significant part in our human and cosmic destiny, is the experience of a process by which a centre is formed. On this basis there is a radical shift and the binary creation, hitherto the only poise we have known as individuals in the collective experience of evolution, gives way to a unitary system based on the principle of centrality. What is important to note is that such a shift and establishment of a unitary foundation introduces an entirely new set of laws which determine our future on this planet.
I use the word determine purposefully. One of the aspects of destiny most disturbing to the human being is the sense of determinism it seems to impose. From times immemorial the human creature has struggled to discover the true nature of consciousness and whether or not there is a power operating in evolution which sets before us a play of circumstances that do not permit the intervention of a human will and the expression of a free choice. The reason why the answer to this question has eluded us is that we ignore the real nature of this cosmic manifestation as well as the structure of the human consciousness itself within this organisation. In addition, we desire to come upon the answer from within the parameters of that very consciousness which is ill poised to ‘see’ in a more all-inclusive manner. We are restricted by the apparatus we employ in our quest which is Mind.
It is safe to state that the purpose of existence in this cosmic manifestation, and in particular having entered it through birth on planet Earth, in the third orbit from the Sun, is to grow into the expression of that vast harmony. Succinctly, our evolution, the transformation of the consciousness of the human creation, is intended to produce a race which mirrors or IS that Harmony. Presently we appear to be very far from that attainment, and in the course of this discussion I will analyse the reasons why this is so. But initially it can be said that the cause of all our woes as a collective expression is the essential structure of the human instrument. Being binary rather than unitary, certain limitations this imposes precludes the attainment of a poise of consciousness-being which can allow the human being to reflect that higher condition of the cosmic harmony. He or she is impeded from becoming THAT by this limiting structure with all its attending shortcomings. Our society in its actual immature condition, reflected in the improper and uncivilised answers we offer to existing problems, as well as the increasing acts of destruction we are subject to on a global scale, is governed by a set of laws which are the outcome of that binary structure.
When the time comes to experience a higher level, to move on to a higher position in the scale of creation and to express hitherto unknown capacities latent until now, then a new pattern has to be established. This ‘new order’ we often hear referred to in our contemporary discourses is essentially a new set of laws by which the evolving consciousness may be governed.
The process we are involved in and are describing in these pages has as its objective the introduction of that new set of laws taken directly from the cosmic harmony. ‘Man in our image’ is the precise description of the intended goal of the species. In the process the entire gamut of species on the planet must perforce experience an enhancement. This does not imply a displacement, as if the dog or the horse were meant to occupy another circle in the sphere of creation, but simply that levels of their inherent potential will be tapped and given expression once the expansion occurs in the overall structure. Being the highest in the echelon of creation, as housed on this planet, the human being is the instrument used to introduce the expansion simply because it requires a conscious participation and collaboration. Not that the animal does not collaborate and participate. Indeed, as this essay reveals, the horse is seen to offer a purer collaboration. Rather, there must be a capacity of integration and synthesis for which Mind is indispensable as an instrument of mediation, as it were.
The animal does not enjoy this capacity, centred as it is in the vital-physical. In other words, the level of participation and the position on the scale allotted to the participant is contingent upon the possession of all four aspects of consciousness-being, – physical, vital, mental and spiritual. More than that, for these four parts are present or involved in everything, there must be the capacity for harmonisation and integration of the four. To bring this about there must be the instrumentation of Mind.
To borrow an aphorism of Sri Aurobindo, with certain modifications, we may state, ‘Mind was the helper, Mind is the bar.’ The time has come to put Mind in its rightful place in the structure of being. This implies two things. First is the manifestation of a principle higher than Mind but which plays something of a similar function; and second, the binary response engendered by Mind due to its linear properties must as well be altered. With the emergence of the higher principle, Mind can finally express its true function in the overall scheme. Until now ours has been a lop-sided expression. The foremost indication of this imbalance is the destructive quality of life on this planet. Mind has served not as an intermediary or a channelling device for the higher light, but rather it has succumbed to the waves thrown up from the vital and physical planes which have imposed the way of destruction on its functioning. The result has been Mind’s ingenuity utilised to bring into existence the means for massive and perhaps conclusive destruction of the planet and all its species.
This fact alone ought to reveal to us that we live in a very special Age, a culmination of a development through the aeons. A turning point has been reached. It is now a question of destruction or creation. More specifically, our Age must introduce a new mode, a new energy flow or utilisation whereby destruction ceases to have its play and dissolution replaces the old response. All of this implies a transformation of Mars.
Mercury exalted and Mars transmuted
The acute malaise of our civilisation lies in the question of imbalance. There is a mental preponderance by default, so to speak. Our species has never known the other possibility on a global basis. More specifically, while there may have been sporadic expressions of a higher harmony governing the collective experience, as for example in ancient India where the fourfold caste order was one expression of that harmony, this serves now merely as an indication that such an order exists and can form the basis of cohesion of society. But when we seek to extend that and to embrace the entire globe, or else to encompass the human species as a whole, it is evident that these isolated experiences, as glorious as they may have been in the ages of their dominance, are inadequate to serve as models for contemporary society with its complex problems the outcome precisely of the universality we are a part of. The new order must be such that it can offer a structure wherein unity and multiplicity are allowed their true expression and free play.
Mind as the highest governing principle cannot give rise to this new and higher integrating order. There has to be another principle which by its very nature sets the mental principle in its correct place within the whole. Mind in such a scenario will display its true potential. Something of this is already in evidence in the advancement of various technologies which are revolutionising many aspects of living as never before. This is particularly evidenced in areas within the sphere of Mind. In the astrological framework these fall under the rulership of Mercury, the planet of Mind pre-eminently. For example, the electronic communication media.
But in each sphere the old order as expressed by the former six known planets in orbit of the Sun is enhanced by the new triad of planets. In this cosmology we look upon the new triad as super exaltations. For example, Mercury as the planet of communications reaches its higher expression with the discovery of Uranus, its higher octave in the planetary harmony. Thus, Uranus adds to Mercury the electronic component. This is especially the case today, in this millennium which is, properly speaking, the millennium of Mercury. From the year 2000 onward another element becomes predominant due to the influence of Venus, the second planet from the Sun, its higher octave is Neptune. The coming millennium will see areas governed by these planets as foci for the great transformation.
By this it is not meant that electronics are the only meaningful offering of our civilisation, since we are describing a predominant and not exclusive influence. Pari passu with the Uranian permeation of Mercury, other planetary influences are felt. Nonetheless, it is the Uranus electronic factor that allows the rest to come forward. Without this no new discoveries could bear fruit. Computers, for example, permit discoveries and explorations in a manner never before possible. This is, as it were, the foundation the 1900s have left. With that laid, new heights can be reached in other areas.
But our ‘measure’ as a planetary harmony is 9. That is, Pluto marks the boundary of our cosmic experience. Pluto is the higher octave of Mars; and therefore this ‘measure’ determines the very essence of our planetary experience, the purpose of our existence on this Earth, as well as the goal to be attained. Mars is par excellence the planet of energy. Pluto transmutes that energy base and connects its extremities as the serpent biting its tail in the ancient tradition. In the Gnostic Circle it is the 0 and the 9 joining at the apex of the wheel. The experience we are describing in this essay involving the Horse is the saga of Mars in the process of transmutation. The Horse is the saga of Mars in the process of transmutation. The Horse is virtually an energy machine. Carried over to the human being this process is the means to attain a release of a hitherto hidden plateau of energy, or to expand our actual base so that a greater release can be accommodated.
The binary structure is incapable of housing this additional release. It is stressed to the point of breakdown. Our present travails and civilisational woes are examples of such breakdowns given the new influx, accurately described by the new triad of planets which has extended our planetary harmony from 6 to 9.
Thus, the section of the Gnostic Circle that represents a great ‘unknown’ for us is the last quarter, or the final triad from the 6 point to the 9. From Saturn to Pluto. Interestingly, Pluto is the higher octave of Mars which is said to be ‘in exaltation’ in Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. Pluto closes the boundary at the 9 point, while Saturn stands at the threshold of the Unknown, being our entry or gateway into an area, as described in the Gnostic Circle, which was hitherto considered ‘heaven’, or the Beyond.
I have discussed this in many of my written works and especially in these pages, but the Horse Saga offers us a possibility of dissecting the process of transmutation itself based on the establishment of a new structure. In this analysis something of the victorious spirit of Mars will be revealed – that is, its transformed character based on the new possibilities the emergence of a centre presents, based on a triadic harmony replacing the dualistic structure of old.
The triadic energy base of the Zero
In previous issues describing the Horse Saga, it may be noted that nothing was mentioned of the Zero. We were dealing with cycles of nine races. But there was no detailed analysis of the element from which these 9 had issued. That is, the Zero. The reason for this is twofold. In the first place, regarding the preparation of a racehorse, it is obvious that the Zero must refer to the training process. Regarding our fillies this was indeed a void. The Zero was therefore the old and distorted form of itself – shunya or the void, rather than the true expression of Fulness. Secondly, and this is perhaps the most important factor, the Zero establishment out of which the rest was to emerge, was only minimally concerned with the actual training of the horse and people involved in the saga. Something much deeper was playing upon the events, something which alone could allow for that superior training to come into being. For the fact is these several years of involvement in this ‘sport’, governed by Mars as all sports are, have been entirely dedicated to gathering energies together for the formation of the Zero. On the basis of those energies and their interplay, human and equine, the victory could occur due to a flowering of the true potential of the participants finding their mode of expression in a field worked upon in a special manner so that it would be in harmony with that process. That is, while the Zero components were being drawn together, and this may be called the vertical direction of the experience; there was a simultaneous preparation of the field in which this Zero could be planted. This was the horizontal direction. It is similar to a seed planted in a particular soil, the right type and condition of ‘soil’ to permit its flowering. If the soil is not adequate, the seed does not encounter proper nutrients to assure its growth. Thus, this experience describes a harmonious coming together of the two directions: vertical and horizontal. It is this that constitutes the successful, victorious implementation of a process monitored in the Gnostic Circle.
The Gnostic Circle, it must be emphasised, is a synthesis of these two directions. In every cycle of 9 (years, months, days, stages) we are incorporating or experiencing a gradation of 12. This is its unusual feature and for this reason it can be said to be the key of knowledge for the new age of Supermind. Until now seekers have dealt with either the enneagram or the circle divided into 9 parts; or else the zodiac, the circle divided into 12. Never before have the two been superimposed and synthesised as in the Gnostic Circle. Nor have these dimensions ever represented the two directions described above: vertical and horizontal, respectively. The element that permits a synthesis of this order is the Zero. In no school of higher knowledge do we encounter a similar usage of the Zero as we find in this new cosmology. Elsewhere the scale invariably commences with the number 1 and continues on to 9, or else 12. And it is the lack of the Zero which impeded seekers from rooting the operation in time and space simultaneously. The Zero is the point where the two join, as the serpent biting its tail in alchemy. Being the point of juncture or intersection, the Zero is our key to the source, the element or dimension which sustains the creation under discussion. It is therefore the Zero that offers us an understanding of a centre. By analysing its structure we come to appreciate the special properties which constitute a Centre and grant it the desired ability ‘to hold’.
But in this Horse Saga we do more than simply analyse. In this series I am offering a discussion of the lived experience. That is, we follow the process through via the racing experience until the formulation of that Zero is completed. Every aspect of the process is covered in the lived experience involving these superb animals.
Foremost to note is that the nature of a true centre is triadic. The Zero is thus comprised of three hidden elements. In our number scale these are 9, 6, and 3, in this descending order. But as these numbers reveal, each one consists of 3, or covers 3 stages, which brings us to the full gamut of 9 levels or stages or dimensions or powers. Thus, it is safe to state that the essence of life on this planet Earth in this third orbit from the Sun is encapsulated in the number 3, the triad or the trinity.
In the Gnostic Circle this is made clear by the harmonious combination of the Earth at its 3 point in the wheel. As discussed in earlier portions of this study, the ancient Indians not only understood the special characteristics of the Earth in the third orbit from the Sun, they also connected the planet specifically to the Horse by establishing this animal as the vahana or carrier of Usha, the divine Dawn, the most prominent ‘face’ of the Earth. Usha is, to be exact, the spirit of this planet. Her carrier is the Horse which in turn is a form of Agni, the Fire God, foremost of the Vedic pantheon. It is not unusual therefore that the Horse is the primary figure of this lived experience centred on the Zero with its triadic properties, the essence of the planet we inhabit. Any higher expression of the species in evolution will manifest in a triadic play. To illustrate, when the expansion of our solar system to the observing eye took place, it did so on the basis of a further trinity added to the previously known two, bringing the count of planets to 9, or 3 X 3.
Thus the present analysis will focus primarily on the formation of a centre and by consequence on the nature of the Zero to better comprehend the more recondite qualities of that Centre. I will demonstrate via this racing experience the meticulous manner in which the Supramental Shakti arranged all the circumscribing circumstances in this saga in such a way as to compel the emergence of this centre/zero. By so doing, and only on this basis, the full potential or inner truth of all the participants was revealed.
The flowering of an Inner Truth
It may be recalled from the previous treatments of the subject that the original purpose of this experience was to develop the fullest potential of the equine athlete. In the course of the present essay, just how far short of such an achievement almost all equines fall in racing will be made evident. This is made clear by the disharmony between all the participants involved in the collective effort to bring the horse to a peak, or to the point where its fullest potential is made manifest. Interestingly, and the student must realise through this that the choice of racing as a field for the experiment is indeed apt, there are three essential elements demanded by the sport: owner, trainer, and jockey. This triad forms the basis of the experience. We can visualise the three as segments of a circle divided into three parts in the following manner:
The ‘centre’ of this circle is of course the Horse. Onto this element the rest converges. That is, the Horse is the recipient of the efforts of the three and it is also the element that must express that part of itself which lies hidden and untapped. The Horse must manifest from within the energy which is contained in the innermost recesses of itself. That release constitutes the ‘fuel for the rise’ essential for a species which must scale hitherto unexplored heights and dimensions of consciousness-being if it is to rise on the ladder of creation to a new and wider plateau of existence.
The owner of the horse in the racing experience is equivalent to the 9 in any organisation of a true cosmos. That is, the 9 is related to the Transcendent Divine and in this context it must act as the spirit of the cosmos, the all-pervading essence. As a transcendent power it is the least involved in the day-to-day operations on the track, unlike trainer and jockey. Nonetheless, the owner’s function is of paramount importance for without a correct poise of the 9 nothing of the rest of the process could come to pass. The owner thus sets the ‘rhythm’ for the process or the heartbeat of the operation, and establishes its boundaries based on an all-inclusive vision and guiding spirit. He or she sets the goals and sees that they are attained, and constantly feeds the system with energy/fuel required to keep it moving forward and on its proper course. In large part this guiding spirit is conveyed by the fact that the owner pays the bills, keeps everyone employed, and indeed furnishes the horse to the trainer in the first place. The owner thus supplies the central commodity to be worked upon by trainer and jockey.
Boundaries are continuously trespassed in racing however. Thus, more often than not, trainers are also owners of the horses they train. This may seem innocuous but in effect it colours the trainer’s participation and somewhat pollutes the atmosphere of racing as it is practised today in that a trainer takes more interest in the horse he owns than those of the owner for whom he trains. To illustrate further, trainers are often made part owner of a horse by owners themselves. This is done usually to secure the trainer’s interest in one’s animal since without a direct stake the trainer often fails to become sufficiently involved with the animal to secure the best results. On the trainer’s part, keeping a share in the horse also helps to pin the horse down to his stables, making it more difficult for the owner to remove the horse if its performance is not considered satisfactory.
Be all this as it may, one thing is clear: positions are usurped thereby creating ‘disturbances in the field’.
The owner is therefore the holder of the commodity – the horse – as well as the financier of the training and racing operation. Without the owner there is no racing anywhere in the world. This is truly the 9, first expression of the descending triad of 9, 6, and 3.
The trainer on the other hand is the equivalent of the 6. Like the Cosmic Divine in the trinity of Transcendent (9), Cosmic (6), and Individual (3), all the energies to be transformed are entrusted to the trainer, to be organised into a harmonious expression for the purpose of extracting the best from the equine athlete. One of the trainer’s most important qualities is thus a capacity for organisation, for controlling everything under his or her command, similar to the general of an army. Connected as the 6 is to the cosmic manifestation, it is clear that the trainer is required to offer the scientific dimension, the laws of the cosmos. His or her ability lies in the implementation of those laws to best suit each athlete. Indeed, to be in possession of a knowledge which permits him to develop the natural potential of the animal and to enhance that capacity to its utmost degree. In the course of this analysis, we will learn how the racing scene lacks proper or adequate science and how out-dated the present training of the Thoroughbred is. In a sense this mirrors the condition of the human being who goes through life invariably with only a fraction of his or her true potential utilised. We are in a position through this racing experience to prove just to what degree this failing on the part of trainers was acutely felt by our fillies.
The third ingredient is the jockey who holds the number 3 position in the descending scale. Everything the owner and trainer have done is finally handed over to the jockey for the race. The latter is in the privileged position of making or breaking those efforts. The jockey is, together with the horse, the performer. In the time scale the 3 point is equivalent to the present. Whatever the efforts of the 9 and the 6, all converges on the individual and the present. In this case, the jockey. The ultimate moment of truth is his or hers.
In numerical operations of the Gnostic Circle, it has been shown that the 0 and 9 are equal, and in this case the 0 has to be considered the horse, the centre of the operation. Equally, the 3 has affinity with the 0/9 in that it is ultimately through the 3, or the Individual, that the Supreme or Transcendent manifests. Thus in the jockey’s hands lies the responsibility of carrying to a successful completion the efforts and energies handed over to him or her by owner and trainer, or the 9 and the 6. But the Horse is not just the 0; rather, it is the One, the result of the transmutation of the 0, after the reversal, by which means the 0 gives birth to the One. In the ancient Vedic tradition this is Agni, the divine Son. One of his ‘forms’ is precisely the Horse. This ‘reversal’ is therefore crucial in the operation. It corresponds to the 4.5 Orbit of the Gnostic Circle.
In the racing world of today, these three functions are invariably perverted. None of the three play their proper roles or hold to their rightful positions. Owners sin for the most part by entering the sport without an adequate knowledge of their contribution and the larger parameters of the sport. Usually the initial motivation displays a perversion of the spirit of the endeavour. A person acquires a racehorse today either for prestige or for the gamble – rarely for the sport. While these can be secondary interests and therefore not overpowering and critically damaging, they are normally the primary forces of motivation.
Thus, since the owner/9 must provide the ‘seed’ of the endeavour, by which the rest will be determined, if there is this initial contamination the further development will always, or at certain crucial moments, reveal this initial, insidious contamination. These lesser priorities will be stamped on the experience from the outset, and everything else will be coloured thereby and have to accommodate these priorities of the owner, whatever they may be. In the racing experience where owner, trainer, and jockey all indulge in betting, often against their own horses, it is easy to understand that we are dealing with a highly polluted atmosphere. To illustrate, a jockey who bets on a horse other than the one he is riding in a race, as is often the case, is clearly undermining his own efforts to win. This is usually found to be the case when the odds are better on another horse. He cannot extract from his mount that victorious energy which will carry the horse past the winning post first. Not being yogis, it is safe to state that no jockey throughout the world is developed to the point where he can be on another horse in his race and still make the fullest effort with his own mount, whereby if he wins he would lose the money he placed elsewhere. Of course there are rules prohibiting these practices, but they are rarely enforced, in particular since detection of these mal-practices is often difficult.
Owners as well manipulate a race, often to the detriment of their own horses when the odds are better elsewhere. In such cases, the trainer is unaware that the owner has secretly commanded the jockey to hold his horse back from winning.
Thus, in the racing arena we encounter a microscopic field offering us a very precise image of the larger world: a field wherein nothing is in its place, no true functions are fulfilled, and where all the parts of the whole engage in a constant undermining of each other. Central to the experience, at the heart of the affair, stands the Horse. Being central the Horse in this instance is the representative of the incarnate divine Purpose and thus the number-power 1. By this the reverence with which the Horse was held in Vedic times is more easily appreciated.
The imbalance of our world determines the fact that little or nothing of that Purpose is allowed to express itself directly. That is, given our disharmonious condition, the divine Purpose, centre of our existence, can express itself only indirectly and never with its fullest power or control, or as a centre that ‘holds’. The parts of the periphery usurp that central position by appropriating to themselves properties of the Centre. Foremost of this is the conviction of being the Doer.
The experiences I will relate in the following pages will serve to dissolve in the reader any sense of being the doer. What I will relate establishes definitively that the human being is simply an instrument of the Divine, and his or her greatest achievement in life is to be a conscious instrument, and only that. This is the goal of our yoga, even as it is the goal in this racing experience.
When we discuss ‘the doer’, it is perhaps necessary to provide a certain definition of the term. This refers the individual who believes he enjoys the full power of decision and action in life. It is an individual who ignores and adamantly refuses to accept the existence of a power or powers which may occupy that commanding and impelling position and hold over our lives. He decides it all, he does it all.
This is the most acute form of the malady. But there are lesser degrees as well. There are those who have had glimpses or sporadic experiences of ‘something else’ in control. But soon the sense of a higher power operating through the human instrument fades or becomes only a vague memory, a remote or sometimes repressed feeling of a divine agency determining our destiny. The waves of the ego rise again and cloud one’s intuition. Or else there are those who do admit that another force external to themselves operates through them, but this realisation is all too often incomplete. It lacks the full knowledge of the mechanism which would make the individual a fully conscious instrument in all parts of the being and thus eliminate the mixture of forces he is open to when ignorance taints the experience. One of the foremost aims of this yoga is precisely the attainment of a finely-tuned discrimination which closes out all but the highest guiding influence.
Thus, the purpose of this study is to assist the student in expanding his or her awareness by the lived experiences described herein, to the point where not only doubts vanish as to the existence or not of this power but the mechanism by which such action is possible will be revealed. In other words, knowledge must replace ignorance. In the process, all sense of being the doer will be dissolved.
However, this is a difficult transition to make. Our ‘scientific temper’ stands as a stark denial of this fact of our existence. The reason lies in science’s own limitations. Therefore, to attain this knowledge we have had to introduce a new cosmology which can provide a ‘scientific’ explanation of the creative process, one which offers a complete system with experiential and exponential capacities. These aspects are revealed in this study. The process I am describing has a mathematical foundation: given certain ingredients in their proper proportion, position and relationship to each other, the outcome of a given process can be predicted. To affirm this statement, in the course of the study I shall be quoting from my journal, or else from recorded discussions on the subject of this racing experience. These offer substantial proof of the predictability of the cosmological formula employed.
In addition, these extracts demonstrate the ineluctable fact that a power, working through not only the individual but organising all the circumstances which constitute the field of our endeavour, is provably by and within the laws that regulate this cosmology.
What limits the human being from appreciating the true condition of the instrument is the ego. And what the ego does is to displace the axis of being so that there arise centres competing for supremacy in the human consciousness. In other words, the human preference is never that central divine Purpose but rather a self-centred priority. Succinctly, this creates isolation, segregation, off-centredness. And this binary status with foci at two points, the lower and the higher hemispheres of being, impedes centrality, the key to expression of a divine Purpose in life. We become centred in our own private endeavours which are disconnected from the broader, all-inclusive goals available to each individual.
But for this to come to pass, the individual has to find his or her own centre which houses that divine Purpose. That is, involving the Zero as it does, the centre comprises that same triadic nucleus discussed above in the racing experience. There has to be a balance of energies.
In a collective experience such as the one analysed in these pages, these elements are collectively provided. The cosmos is not individual but embraces a larger circle in the true experience of the One and the Many. The difficulties experienced in this wider operation were the same as the individual experiences in seeking an integration and harmony of being. That is, each representative member of the trinity, – owner, trainer, and jockey – had to overcome the obstructions the ego presents in the process of creating or bringing into being a nucleus, in this instance which would permit the divine Purpose to express itself through the Horse. This involved dismantling isolating ego-interests, dissolving barriers which continuously sought to drive the process into the old patterns by which the world as we know it functions. The manner in which these resistances were ruthlessly undone makes for a remarkable documentation of the action of the Supramental Shakti. Indeed, this account will serve to draw a line separating the weak of spirit from the true intrepid warriors of the Divine. One may believe oneself to be open to the Divine, ready and willing to participate in the establishment of a life divine on Earth. But it is another thing to be ‘up front’ in the battle, bearing the brunt of the onslaughts offered by forces which strive to maintain their hold on the human creation. Insofar as this is indeed too much to expect of the human being – that is, a willing acceptance of the difficulties – the elements engaged in this operation enjoyed the comfort the ego provides: ignorance. Being ignorant and ego-centred, the participants in this Horse Saga rushed in like fools where angels indeed would fear to tread.
The following documentation will make it clear that at least in this early stage of the transformation, very few can participate consciously, aware of the difficulties which might surface and ready to accept the hardships attendant on such a transformation of society. At the same time, success of the endeavour lies in large part in a conscious awareness of at least the broad lines of the process, otherwise it cannot be done. Therefore, as the reader will come to appreciate, there had to be a delicate balance maintained between ignorance and knowledge: just enough illumination to render the process conscious, without removing the veils entirely which might have produced a recoiling before the inevitable which on many occasions was far from pleasant.
Dealing with the Underminers
The last instalment of our sage concluded with the dramatic description and analysis of Eve’s ‘accident’. The reasons for that unexpected happening, at the start of F2’s seventh race – falling in the orbit of Uranus the 7th planet known in astrology to be precisely the planet of the unexpected – brought Eve’s participation to an abrupt end, or at least a suspension for a time. What was to follow would make this clear. But what was clear beyond any doubt was that in such a state of dependency inflicted by her binary representative status, Eve would not be allowed to continue riding the fillies. Or else, it remained to be seen whether or not a way would surface which would either correct that poise, or else somehow render it irrelevant and not definitively obstructive. On my part, I was completely open to other solutions since it seemed that the original vision would not be permitted to unfold.
With this race I realised in full the necessity for a harmonious interplay of energies as the first imperative of the collective transformative process. I sensed that nothing of the true potential of these animals would come forth without the right elements coming together for the purpose.
Racing thus continued under these inadequate conditions; the results were, on the whole, negative. F1 ‘turned off’ almost completely, while F2 placed second in her next race following the ‘accident’; an improvement on her 4th but still far short of what I felt she was capable. By then racing at the summer venue had come to an end. The fillies returned to the home club without having produced the anticipated wins. And as for the experience of gathering the required energies together which I felt were necessary to set the process on its way in full, we seemed farther from the goal than ever.
By mid November, 1993, and after a few more inconsequential races, I realised F1 was in the same rut as in former times. From the beginning of her career she had experienced four different trainers, as well as Adam, Eve’s companion on the binary pole, the only one ‘to deliver the goods’, as the saying goes, – that is, to produce wins with this filly. Inasmuch as these sporadic shifts in management and training were taking their toll and I felt the filly was beginning to demonstrate her former unwillingness to cooperate with the jockey, whosoever that might be, I decided to send her to Adam’s stables in the city of her first win with him, Madras, since racing had resumed there after the summer break. It was clear that under the circumstances she would never improve. In addition, her current trainer, the fourth, was totally disinterested in her. Eve was not yet fully healed and in the saddle again, but there was another female rider in Adam’s club. Since F1 had acquired an intense dislike for male jockeys, I felt we could experiment with India’s only other woman jockey. Perhaps F1 would oblige. The filly had been given permission to absent herself from her home club at Bangalore for two races, after which she had to return. But fate willed otherwise. In this case, God may have proposed, but man certainly disposed!
In the meantime, F2 was being prepared for her 10th race at Bangalore, while F1 was sent afar, as it were. Yet interestingly, they were both scheduled to race on the same day, and at the very same time, 28 November, 3 PM.
I could not be in both cities at once, so a choice had to be made. After Eve’s ‘accident’, it seemed important to be present at each race, especially during this initial stage of the experience, when the play of forces was not entirely as it should be given certain misalignments and gaps in the system which could allow complications to ensue. And insofar as F1 was psychologically the more delicate of the two, requiring, I felt, more effort to bring her out of her shell, I decided to attend her race in Madras and send a representative to F2’s. Another factor that weighed on this decision was the general chaos prevailing in the venue of F1’s race. As a race course it had a poor reputation. In fact, other owners had warned me of this, stating as well that it was ‘a disgrace to send one’s horses there’.
It seemed I had no choice in the matter: it was either there, as a last chance, or retirement on the farm. But because of the reigning chaos, I found myself at 3 o’clock waiting for F1 to enter the starting gate with the other horses participating in her race. They were delayed at the gate while over the loudspeakers one could hear the commentary of, precisely, F2’s race some 300kms away. Interestingly, because of off-course betting, F1’s race could not be allowed to start until F2’s had finished, though they were scheduled for the same time. Hence the delay.
When F2’s finally came to an end it was a sort of suspended animation: a photo finish was called between F2 and another horse from the stables of one of India’s biggest owners. Thus when F1 jumped out of the gate for her 30th race, with the other woman jockey steering her, we still did not know the outcome of her sister’s race at the home track.
F1 seemed happy enough with her female jockey. She finished third in a field of 14 horses. Meanwhile, our excitement knew no bounds when over the loud speakers the results of the photo finish were announced: F2 had notched the second win of her career and the first on her home turf in Bangalore. This was an important breakthrough considering that everyone was of the opinion that the former wins of both the fillies, in other turf clubs, were due to less stiff competition exclusively. I disagreed, but in racing words are of little value. The win alone speaks. In this sense it is a valuable field for yoga because all too often in the spiritual quest speculations and abstractions are made to take the place of concrete results.
There were interesting developments thereafter. Eve was back in the saddle but for exercise work only, since the orthopaedic surgeon had not yet given her a fitness certificate to ride in a race. F1 was due to run again on the 9th of December, with the same woman jockey. Thereafter, we intended to enter her in an important race with increased stakes money. The competition would be stiff.
In preparation for these races, Eve was exercising her in morning track work. In fact, F1 was the first horse she took out after her ‘accident’. Predictably, the filly bolted, as was her want; and equally predictably, Eve could not (or would not) hold her back. The result was a mad escapade four times around the course, most of which was at a flat-out gallop. The filly covered 9000 metres or more at a blistering pace, a feat which would have finished off any other horse.
Though nothing severely damaging took place as a result of this madness, the filly was nonetheless unable to perform well in her subsequent races. She had lost weight in excess and had to be rested and then brought back slowly. Months would go by before she would regain her former condition.
Though this incident bore negative results for F1’s performance, there was a positive side to the mishap. As breeder and owner of these horses, I had always sustained that they were of a superior quality and that given the right inputs – proper training, nutrition, and rider, among other things – they could excel and even beat the most well-bred on the track. Needless to say, my views were considered the usual owner eccentricity who considers his or her mediocre horses to be better than Classic winners. In this case, their pedigree was considered worthless compared to almost all other competitors, and particularly because their sire was my own riding horse and not a fancy imported stallion standing at one of the more fashionable stud farms. Their dam was considered not at all fit for breeding and therefore she was presented to me as a gift for riding. As reported earlier in this series, unbeknown to the owners of the stud farm who gave me the mare, she was pregnant at the time and before long gave birth unexpectedly to F1. And thus began our saga.
Be this as it may, in my assessment based on some knowledge of horses, I had no doubt at all that my two fillies were of superior quality. Their performance to date had not proven me out. But I continued to ‘hold firm’. Indeed, this proved to be an essential ingredient in the final denouement.
Though Eve was thrilled to have these horses to ride on the track given her involvement with them from birth, she too was not convinced of their quality. But that mad escapade, four times around the track at full speed and especially the filly’s sustained power and desire to continue for another round and more, convinced her as I was convinced that my assessment was correct. She had never felt such power in a horse. The question was then, How to get her to give that in a race and not just in exercise? If this could be done, Eve was convinced F1 would reach the top.
Thus, with this apparently negative happening one more element of the nuclear components was converted. But the trainer, Adam, was still unconvinced. It needs to be emphasised that the principle feature of this experiment was the extraction of the fullest potential of the horse. As a microcosmic experience, from the beginning the point was that circumstances should arrange themselves which would permit this inherent potential to surface. It is obvious that in a situation such as this racing saga, and indeed in competitive sport in general, the ability to see the true inherent potential of the horse and not be mislead into believing that the potential is greater than it actually is, is essential. At the same time, disbelief is the most damaging element to contend with. It undermines the process and drains it of force, of the power to arrange circumstances that will permit the ‘field’ to come into being which will allow the potential to express itself. Once this ‘seeing’ is done, there must be a firm adherence to the vision. There must be a ‘pillar’ of sorts to steady the organisation and hold all the elements together by the power of Seeing. In a word, there must be a mechanism that ‘holds firm’ and counteracts any negativity seeking to undermine the process.
I repeat, after this dramatic bolting episode, the jockey, at least, was convinced of the filly’s potential. On her part, F1 was to experience her 31st race on the 9th of December. Falling at the 4 point of the Gnostic Circle, the area which demands a release of energy and a positive imprinting based on this release, the filly did not oblige by releasing the energy in the race but rather in the exercise session prior to the race. Nonetheless, I felt the imprinting had been achieved within her own being and that things would thereinafter be different for her. It was just a matter of orienting that potential to the race, it seemed. But there was far more to the matter than was immediately apparent.
Several aspects of the process were becoming clear by that time. We were at its nadir on all accounts. We seemed bogged down, driven to a standstill. Nothing real and lasting of the inherent potential of either filly was surfacing. For while F2 had scored a win at the home base, beating in the process some of the better bred horses India has to offer and dismantling the belief that my fillies could not compete there, she did not win as convincingly as I felt she should. Though she was carrying top weight, with the next horse carrying 9 kilos less, this win was in Class VA, the second to the last; and she won by a short head in a photo finish, not at all a spectacular achievement. If she could just manage to win in this lower class, what did this have to say about the potential I had seen from the beginning? To reach the higher classes a horse has to be able to win carrying top weight. With this performance, it would be hard to convince the trainer that this filly was worthy of a greater effort on his part.
Indeed, this was the principle obstacle we faced: disbelief of the trainer. It soon became clear that a horse will invariably perform according to the trainer’s expectations. If he or she believes the horse to be Class V material, the animal will oblige and never exceed those boundaries, simply because that is the type of training it will receive. Regarding F2, the woman trainer did indeed consider her to be Class III material. Even Adam, as idealistic and open as he was to the ‘new way’ of training, maintaining the highest standards possible, seconded this assessment.
But with F1’s spectacular bolting session, jockey Eve was then convinced that my horses did indeed hold an untapped source of energy within. But her new-found conviction was not sufficient to mould her into a total and dedicated ally in the transformation the process demanded of all participants. She was still firmly lodged in the binary pole together with trainer Adam, still clinging tenaciously to her notion of ‘independence’ and refusal to commit herself to a process which appeared to hold the threat of mysterious limitations. In a word, she was still thoroughly centred on her own interests and concerns and everything else was made to orbit those self-interests. There was no real and definitive adherence and openness to the Power that was seeking to make of this racing experience the foundation of a ‘new order’.
The demands of the ‘field’
Throughout this period the Yoga of the Horse, as I had by then come to call it, demanded a firm pillar central to the operation, a power to hold, as I have explained, which could gather into the cosmos in formation the energies required to complete the process. Contingent on this would also be a power to put each thing in its place within the whole. That is, the three elements of the nucleus not only had to be drawn within the boundaries of the cosmos but they had to occupy their rightful positions in this nucleus – i.e., a balance of energies in the triadic base.
In its deepest sense this meant a nucleus formed of equal portions, a balance of energies implying a level standing and no tilt into a binary poise. Given the relationship of Adam to Eve, representative as they were of the old binary system, this proved to be a formidable task.
Indeed, the process reached a phase where essentially the establishment of the Zero as the uninterrupted source of limitless energy fed into the system via the Horse had to be achieved. This means that if and when such a Zero-Centre-Nucleus would come into existence, the experience would find itself poised on an indestructible foundation and in contact with an ever-replenishing source of energy. More than this, it meant that everything connected to the process would attain this highest expression due to a proper field on which all these energies would converge. This means that if such a field does not exist, then whatever is fed or sought to be positioned in the field, would fail to reveal its potential. In a word, it would not find its rightful place.
This indicates that there are two simultaneous movements in the Yoga: vertical and horizontal. I will illustrate the process by the facts of our experience to make the matter clear.
The fillies were bred at Skambha. They came into being under special circumstances to serve a precise purpose in the Work. But their original and inner purpose would demand a particular arena for the fulfilment of these special attributes and compulsions of destiny. If the field for which they were targeted was not made ready and to a certain extent transformed, nothing of their inherent potential and purpose would surface. Indeed, this is the problem with humanity and society in general. An individual of superior qualities and inherent potential may take birth. But the arena in which this particular raw material must evolve acts upon the ‘seed’ and contributes its part to moulding that potential. That is, there are boundaries imposed by the horizontal base in which birth takes place. It can be visualised as being a vertical descent (birth), meeting the horizontal field of one’s environment, the circumscribing conditions one falls into, so to speak. These are the binding laws of the old creation. They condition the field and make it impossible for an individual to exceed those boundaries. At the same time, given these laws and cosmic constraints, as it were, a rigid perspective could evolve, such as we find in the degenerated caste system from the Middle Ages onward, insofar as sages understood that those circumstances of birth were ‘arranged’ given the connection between the subject and the field in which he or she would evolve.
This highlights one of the main considerations in the supramental yoga, which distinguishes it from the integral yoga, or the early stages of the work the Mother and Sri Aurobindo established. The latter does not require any particular field for its development. A sadhak of the integral yoga can practice the sadhana anywhere, at any time, insofar as it is a question of moulding the individual consciousness to permit a special relationship to be established with the Divine Source of one’s being. The sadhak moves vertically, so to speak. He is not entirely impeded in his progress by the condition of the field in which his yoga is transpiring, except insofar as pressures are generated therein which act on his sadhana to urge him on.
As proof, we may analyse the field the Mother and Sri Aurobindo established for the purpose of providing an arena where the integral yoga could be carried out. This came to be known as their Ashram in Pondicherry, South India. But it was not a particularly special area, a secluded enclave, or a segregated place. Or, more specifically, a virgin terrain. Rather, the Ashram developed amidst an already established city. Even its buildings were acquisitions from the existing structures in the town. The yoga was carried on throughout their lives in the midst of this polluted atmosphere in a sense. That is, the yoga could be carried out in such a setting because this pollution had no bearing on the sadhana or on the larger work the Mother and Sri Aurobindo were carrying out in the world, except insofar as it might influence the sadhak negatively if he or she were not in a position to counteract forces from outside. Thus in the beginning and for many years, disciples were not permitted any contact with ‘outside elements’, or even to make forays into the town’s shopping areas without special permission. Discipline was strict in those early days. The work the Mother and Sri Aurobindo were doing was in the spiritual and cosmic dimensions essentially. The vital and the physical were not the focus then, as it now is. As such, the field was not ‘of this world’, if we may express it this way.
When the vital becomes the focus, as with this third level of the descent, then the field where the process is carried out must be transformed pari passu with the individualised work. Hence it is at the third and fourth stages, corresponding to the vital and physical planes, that the full supramental yoga begins because it is then and only then that a harmonisation of the One and the Many comes to pass.
The newness of this phase has been reflected in the demand for a new base, a new arena. This was indicated by the foundation of the City which the Mother undertook just before her passing. But it has to be borne in mind that the township she stated was physical before it was vital. By this it is meant that while the need arose for a new arena, removed from the old and uncontaminated by its rigid laws, as a place where the new could encounter an expanded and enhanced field of operation, the parameters of the work had to be respected. That is, the third and fourth levels of the Descent in their proper order, one opening up the path for the other, but as a dual operation, just as the first and second stages had been carried out together. In the present context, this means that before the true and transformed physical can be established – or rather, before the yoga can bear positive results in that densest plane – the vital must be transformed. This is what is being achieved at Skambha.
In the 1980s, the Yoga of the Chamber was carried out, when the centre was forged in the vital dimension of the yoga; regarding the ‘city’, this would be equivalent to the temple, its centre. The result of that process was the establishment of a physical centre at Skambha. But this was an entirely virgin field. It bore no contamination of any sort. It is the home of the supramental process whereby ‘the symbol is the thing symbolised’, the point where two cosmic directions meet, where ‘heaven’ joins ‘earth’. Thus, the results of the Yoga of the Chamber of the 1980s was the centering process, without which no supramental yoga is possible.
Once this centre is rooted in the earth, the bridge between the transformed vital plane and the Earth is forged. This is the essential work of the Third in the Solar Line. With this accomplished, a spheric, circular and centred expansion began from 1989, the start of the new and final ennead of the millennium. When the work of this final ennead is completed, the physical proper can be tacked in full.
The Horse and the racing ‘arena’ have been the selected field for the expansion from the centre, Skambha. And indeed, this began exactly on time, – that is, in 1989 with the entrance of the first protagonist, F1. But let us recapitulate somewhat to reveal just how exact and controlled this process has been from the beginning, when none knew what was being programmed as the next stage of the yoga.
Tilling the ‘soil’ of the Year
F1 was a ‘surprise’, as I have explained, her conception to this day being a mystery. The mare that gave birth to the filly foal was a gift, bearing this treasure hidden within, unknown to all. On 1 October 1988, F1 was born. I have discussed the happenings in Part I of this series, as well as in ‘Animals in the Emerging Cosmos’, also featured in VISHAAL, (see, TVN 3/4 and 3/5) but with only a cursory reference to the interesting timing of her birth, being as it was an exact 9 months from 1st January, the official collective birth date of all Thoroughbreds in racing throughout the northern hemisphere. At the time there was no thought of sending her for race training; thus her ‘untimely’ birth was of little consequence. But on an official stud farm, an October birth for a potential Thoroughbred racehorse is unthinkable. All Thoroughbreds, as stated, collectively change their age on 1st January each year. Thus, together with the rest targeted for racing in 1988, F1, with only three months of life, would be considered one year old in January, 1989. Such a circumstance would severely reduce the sales value of a foal and render its future racing career worthless, since the animal would be thought unable to compete with the more mature horses it would have to meet in its first outings on the track.
But inasmuch as Skambha is not a stud farm but rather a ‘centre’, and insofar as the happenings there are entirely under the tutelage of the Supramental Shakti, this consideration played no part at all in the racing prospects of F1. Rather, her ‘untimely’ birth offered a further proof of the exactitude of the Gnostic Circle and the new cosmology specifications for the supramental yoga.
To illustrate, I have often referred to the fact that the last three months of the year, from October 1st to December 31st, are reserved for a sort of soil preparation. In the 10th, 11th, and 12th months, the soil is prepared to receive the ‘seed’ which is planted and nurtured through the 9 months. The ‘soil’ prepared to receive the ‘seed’ which is planted and nurtured through the 9 months. The ‘soil’ is actually the distilled essence of the previous seed which has gathered around itself a horizontal field during that 9-month period each year. In a superior 9-month process of this order, the fact that the soil is prepared during passage through Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius, or the Mental Quarter of the Gnostic Circle, is most important to note. For we are precisely intent on expanding that very area; or rather, on extending the boundaries beyond that point so that the bridge formed will connect what was formerly considered the Beyond, or Heaven, to this Earth by a transformation of the vital plane. The birth of F1, exactly on 1st October, set on its way a ‘soil’ preparation which would receive the ‘seed’ in January of the most important 9-year cycle of the millennium: its closing ennead, 1989-98. Thus, it was not simply a question of a 9-month period within the year; it was an entire ennead that was to be ushered in.
It does not require much elaboration to establish the crucial importance of that ennead right from its inception in 1989. History corroborates the point in that the binary structure, – i.e., the pole formed by the two super powers – collapsed, leaving a central void, entirely in keeping with the new cosmology; the Berlin Wall came down, socialism disintegrated, and so on. This is an indication on its own of the need to transform the field where the new creation must develop. Shifts had to come about in order that the newly realised ‘centre’ could find the proper conditions of the soil, or the field, for its expression.
Thus, perfectly on time, F1 appeared unexpectedly, as the first filly in a series of three to permit work in a nuclear field wherein the vital as it manifests its power on Earth, – i.e., money power for example – could be worked upon and transformed. And in line with the conditions the third level of the Descent imposes, the field would have to permit the display of one of the primary components of the supramental yoga: the symbol is the thing symbolised. Hence the field of the vital transformation is precisely the expanse of the Horse, supreme symbol of the Vital, and the vahana of the Third. This work bridges the new millennium and the birth of a new world.
The point I wish to make is that success in the endeavour did not mean simply breeding these animals and sending them off to conquer the racing world. For in what way would that have differed from the actual racing set-up throughout the world, where horses are bred and raced and some win while others lose, some break down and others thrive. Rather, this experiment, if it was to succeed according to the demands of the supramental yoga, required an integral and harmonious transformation: the One and the Many, the individual and the field simultaneously. The point proven by this exercise is that unless these operations are indeed simultaneous, we cannot speak of a supramental, gnostic accomplishment. Fortunately, this documentation will not only prove the truth of this statement, it will provide as well the irrefutable proof that the work is done.
The Turning Point
The new year, 1994, or the shift from a year of 4 number-power to 5, did indeed signify a reversal, as all passages from 4 to 5 do which are monitored in the Gnostic Circle. At that point, our endeavour not only lacked all promise for the future, it seemed, there began to surface at about that time the operations of a power with an almost ruthless capacity to direct these matters into avenues which were as yet unknown and therefore ominous.
In the first instance, F1 could not return to her home base in Bangalore and which was, in my assessment, the true centre of our yogic endeavour. Her then trainer there, disinterested as he had become in her, appeared to have contrived a situation in which it would be impossible for her to return after the two races for which she had been given permission to leave were over. She went into a third race on 25 December with owner, trainer and jockey, as well as the stewards of that club, believing she was free to participate, when in fact, permission had been withheld. This was communicated only when it would be impossible to withdraw her. To further compound matters, a tropical storm, or cyclone, as they are called in the subcontinent, hit the city at the same time, making communication outside all the more difficult, if not impossible. Indeed, the cyclone seemed to offer a visual impact of the nature of the forces we would be dealing with from that point onward.
On my part, given the definitive quality of the developments and my inability to find another solution, I agreed to leave F1 in Adam’s stables. Eve was racing again and had taken her in the 25th December race which caused her to lose her place in the home turf. Thus, this seemed to be the best solution to F1’s problems: she could be re-based in Adam’s club in Madras and thus Eve would exercise her and even ride her in the races she would surely be in a position to enter before too long. Once again she was given a royal treatment in Adam’s stables. But in spite of the superior diet and attention, the bolting episode had taken its toll. After that third race in Madras, given her depleted condition, it was agreed that she should be rested and allowed to gain weight and put on condition, and then be brought back slowly until she was fit to race, and, hopefully, to win.
On her part, F2 remained at the base in Bangalore, holding the centre, as it were. The trainer, her third, was beginning to display the usual signs of disinterest as he had with F1, in spite of the win she registered on 28 November. This disinterest was evidenced by the degenerating condition of the filly. She seemed to be wasting away despite the infrequency of her races. By January 1, 1994, she had run 11 times, hardly a record to produce the kind of deterioration we were witnessing. Each time I visited the stables, I would come away distressed at the sight of this once imposing, powerful filly dwindling away in flesh and spirit.
Be this as it may, there was an unusual quality permeating F2’s appearance. In spite of her poor physical condition, she seemed firmly rooted in an unshakeable POINT. It was as if she were truly holding firm, guarding the centre; while F1 was being sent abroad. The reasons for the latter were not yet entirely clear. It seemed to be a conspiracy of circumstances, answering surface requirements, the only logical solution for her to somehow regain a balance between physical and vital which would encourage her to perform to a capacity she had not yet displayed. But logic was not the answer, that much was clear. I sensed that there was something else, a method to the madness which at that point seemed to have little or nothing to do with her performance.
Even F2 seemed engaged in ‘something else’. Her track record did not appear to be central or prominent as we crossed the boundary between 1993 and 1994, moving out of the 4.5 Orbit of the ennead. She had always displayed a formidable sense of purpose which permeated her entire being. Indeed, in my assessment, as I had stated time and again, this was the truer racehorse of the two. Circumstances did indeed help to create this condition in that not having been turned sour by initial bad handling, like F1 before her, F2 did not need to erect those deadening buffers which her sister had had to construct around herself as a protective device, similar, as I wrote in Part 2 of this series, to the devices the ego constructs as a protective measure. F2 had no such buffers. She was therefore known as a ‘genuine filly’. She would always cooperate in a race, often to her own detriment in that what was being asked of her she was in no way prepared by the trainers to give.
Thus, this genuineness on her part was taking its toll. Her physical was slowly deteriorating. She had already experienced bleeding from the lungs, an affliction of many racehorses. But in her case it was clearly the result of improper cardiovascular development due to inadequate training. In my assessment, this condition surfaced only when she was weakened by lack of proper nutrition and exercise. It is to be noted that F2 gave of herself always, though this might cause her physical damage. But while F1 was also suffering from a physical depletion, it was for very different reasons: F2 was seeking to fulfil her ‘purpose’, – i.e., give her maximum in a race, while F1 indulged in her greatest, self-serving pleasure which was to bolt, and bolt, and go on bolting – but not in the race which might have produced a win! Her release was exclusively self-centred, in keeping with her off-centred axis due to the constraints of her early conditioning. This parallel can be extended to the human condition as well and precisely the affliction this racing process was seeking to transform. In one case, the exclusive concern was self-indulgence, even if it meant destruction; in the other, it was an entire giving of the self with the intent of fulfilling that inherent Purpose. This also highlights the emphatic need to transform the field together with the self because those circumstances condition one’s response thereafter.
F2, like her sister, seemed engaged in an aspect of the work quite different than anticipated. The focus had somehow shifted. Racing, much less winning, was secondary, second to that mysterious ‘something else’. But it would not be long before the way ahead began to show signs of a definite direction. There was indeed a grand, inspired ‘method to the madness’.
On another level, however, something else was becoming clear: our energies were being dispersed rather than consolidated in one spot. From the beginning I understood the operation to be a gradual but inexorable drawing together of all the components of the process to one point, the centre of the experience. To me it was clear that unless all of us were gathered together at the home base, which I realised at the outset was the true microcosm of the enterprise, the true centre and hub of the ‘field’, nothing substantial would be accomplished. Indeed, this was borne out by the facts: not only were my physical and material resources being taxed to the maximum by this split in centres, F1 in Madras, and F2 in Bangalore, we were being drained of the energies we needed to consolidate if at all we were to overcome the formidable obstacles to the fulfilment of the goal. Somehow we had to be drawn together. But I realised that the more I sought to draw Eve, for one, into a closer orbit of the Centre, and indeed at the heart of the operation in Bangalore, the farther away would she bound. At that point, I realised we would never succeed. And this admission meant that whatever ‘high purpose’ was involved in what we were doing, had failed. This left me with a profound sense of defeat, because of which a very intense period of introspection began. This period lasted from the beginning of the year until the 15th of January, driving me deeper and deeper into the heart of the problem as the days passed.
Onset of the Labour
…The time has come to let go of the racing experience. I find myself too involved, too concerned, not accepting enough – pushing, demanding, disappointed when things do not go well… If (F2) has that magnetic centre, she will draw what she needs, when she needs it.
These words, entered in my journal on 5 January 1994, indicate the trend the yoga would take over the months to follow. Yes, it was a question of letting go. But of what? During December, 1993, and January, 1994, the racing experience was clearly at its lowest ebb. There were blockages everywhere, accompanied by a sense of helplessness. This inadequacy and inability to make any progress seemed to centre on a lack of energy. More of this will be said further on. Initially, what seemed to be the need of the hour was this ‘letting go’. In the act of inner probing, given the latest racing results of both fillies, it seemed that what might be blocking progress was my clinging to illusions regarding the true potential of these horses, not uncommon in the racing world. Thus on 12 January, I wrote,
…Something is becoming clear. If I truly believe what I have written, that all this is CONTROLLED, then the blockage with (F2) and even (F1) is WILLED. It means that the time has not come for those blockages to be undone, that they are somehow needed. The totality of conditions in this SPHERIC process clearly demanded encumbrances to hold back things in the process of evolving until all comes into the harmony of gnostic time… In this vision, is it proper to feel frustrated?
Always one returns to the same point. If one is sure of the goal, one knows that there is only ONE ROAD and it carries us THERE. But this is spheric, a circle moving in. The other point is to know what that goal is, the TRUE goal. And above all to surrender to that will. I may be entirely wrong about the goal I cling to for (F2). Nothing has pointed to what I BELIEVE. It is not what I SEE – meaning a vision that unleashes POWER. I ‘believe’. And this may be an illusion. Hence it has no power. It does not accelerate, carry to the summit. That vision unleashing power is very different. Mine is a void. It is not REAL. So, I struggle with these mental, substanceless ideas with no reality – i.e., no energy. How can there be acceleration, ordering, de-blocking when I am incapable of releasing power via the act of Seeing? And this is because I have not applied the true Seeing. I have been blocked by my mental ideas and thus I have been relying on mental means which go nowhere.
The miraculous ‘coming together’ cannot take place like this. This is not the power that completes, carries to the summit. But how to get the other? Clearly the first step is to forego these illusions of grandeur.
This is why detachment is vital. While I am clinging to the ‘idea’ there is no possibility to detach and allow things to find their place…
So, in this racing experience I must not expect victory – meaning success, Classic wins, a Class higher than III because even if this potential is there, I do not have the power to unleash the Energy that Saves…
One truly lives in illusion. Truly.
Thinking about X, – so much resistance. Like Eve. Resistance. I suppose Eve does have something to do with the blockage. But then, why didn’t I have the power to draw her in? All I did in her case too was to INCREASE HER RESISTANCE.
The serious problem that was surfacing with great force was due in large part to the constant undermining from all quarters regarding the qualities I considered my horses to possess. But given their mediocre record, lacking as it did any spectacular accomplishment – there were only five wins to date – the undermining seemed to be the voice of reason and sobriety as opposed to my illusions.
On the other hand there was ‘the process’. While others were dealing with these horses within the conventional framework of the sport, I alone was aware of its deeper purpose. Yet this too presented certain problems. It was all so utterly novel and at times bizarre that a total commitment and trust in that Vision and the Power guiding the operation was demanded. Throughout this period and with an increasing degree of frequency, it was necessary to draw back, plunge within and fortify that commitment to ‘a higher purpose’ in those deepest recesses of one’s being. Increasingly, the realisation of ‘centering’ was called upon so as to be in a position to hold firm while the periphery often wobbled to the point of spinning out of orbit entirely, as forces of many different hues sought to impede any progress.
In addition, and this proved to be the greatest challenge, I was attempting a transformation in an arena totally unconcerned, oblivious and ignorant of the reality, need and implications of such a process. None of the immediate protagonists in the affair were conscious and willing participants, – except, it needs to be added, the fillies themselves, central to it all. In them one could perceive a power of the Divine in its purest form, under the circumstances. They were not mentally aware and thus in possession of the ability to consciously cogitate to the extent that mentally-centred human beings are. Yet they were clearly aware though in a different manner, but which was nonetheless tremendously potent as a tool in this transformative process. This was possible largely because the animal did not offer the resistance we encounter in creatures in possession of a ‘free will’ and which places them in a position where ‘choice’ is considered one’s special prerogative in life. In effect, one has no such ‘choice’, in the truest sense of the word. The only illusion is indeed this question of the power to choose. One goes through life strengthening this illusion continuously and thereby missing the essence of life and the purpose for which we took birth on this third planet in orbit of the Sun.
The horse demonstrated will power. Indeed, a closer scrutiny and a deeper understanding of the word revealed that there was a special affinity between this particular species and Will. But it is quite different from the human assertion of will power. In the horse it is always a fulfilling of purpose, such as F2 demonstrated. Unaccustomed to viewing subjects of the animal kingdom in this light, we leap to conclusions and consider demonstrations of will simply instinct. But this is not the case. While instinct may be present and occupy a central position in the constitution of the horse, or any animal for that matter, it is the means to express that will. The human being drives himself by a mental impulse, while the horse utilises instinct as a motivating force. Nonetheless, the intent is a fulfilment of Will.
F1, on the other hand, exerted her will but perversely, as the outcome of her early conditioning. But neither suffered from the human affliction of ‘freedom to choose’. By this I mean that they could serve as purer instruments simply because they did not suffer from these mental conflicts. Whereas the human being constantly interferes with the Power by virtue of this inner conflict that cannot be resolved while we live in the illusion of unreal prerogatives. Consequently, one of the most severe afflictions of the human being is the varying degrees of self-importance we encounter in almost the entire humanity. This self-importance is a direct outcome of an erroneous assumption that we can DO, that we initiate all action, and that we are in command of our destiny.
The binary creation holds itself together on the basis of precisely such illusions. This is possible, as I have written earlier, because as a race we orbit a void, a central emptiness. We are not centred and unitary creatures. But while the horse in this case can occupy the Centre, at the heart of the process, and carry out its role therein to perfection, we cannot describe the animal as centred. That is, there is no conscious awareness of that condition. The horse simply IS, and does not reflect on this is-ness. Therefore, though connected to the zero of our operations, rightfully speaking the Horse is the One emerging from the Zero because that One represents BEING. It is as a natural, organic flowering from the Zero.
Regarding the transformation, the principle difficulty was this question of carrying out such an operation in an entirely alien field. But having reached the third level of the Descent, the work is destined to be accomplished in this very manner. One aspect of the work at the third level, as described earlier, is the need for a virgin field. There are two ways in which this can be achieved. One is a physically virgin terrain – that is, rural, undiscovered, unpopulated, such as Skambha. The second is an arena which, while populated, is still ‘virgin’ by way of its total ignorance of the process evolving in its midst and with no connection between the two. In this case, the racing scene centred in Bangalore and from there reaching out to the nine racing centres in India. That is, this web of 9 embraces the entire width and breadth of the land. It is, of course, not insignificant that they number 9, given that this is the key number or our work.
There may appear to be a contradiction here. Earlier I wrote that Pondicherry, where Sri Aurobindo and the Mother carried to a successful conclusion the first and second levels of the Work, was not a virgin field. And that regarding the integral yoga this was immaterial insofar as the pollution caused by such a contamination through an interpenetration of the old world would not unduly obstruct the disciple in his or her endeavour. But one could argue that the town of Pondicherry was as ignorant of the yoga being performed in its midst as the racing arena of our study. In what way could the latter be considered ‘virgin’ while the former could not?
The answer lies in the maturity of the work, precisely in the question of centering. This operation, based as it is on the existence of a Centre, is in a position where it makes use of all that surrounds it but is never contaminated by the periphery of which it stands as its hub. In other words, those peripheral elements, in this case the network of racing with all its constituent parts and ramifications, are made to serve the purposes of the One, – i.e., the zero-centre of our exercise. More particularly, with the establishment of the Centre-Zero, the entire process lies beyond reach of the periphery. It is poised in another dimension but within the same physical field. Such a positioning was impossible until the Yoga of the Chamber was completed in the 1980s.
Yet it is essential for the transformation that we carry out the work in the midst of the old, precisely because our work at this third stage deals expressly with the vital plane and is hence the primary instrument of the Becoming, – that is, movement organised in a special way to carry out the purposes of the One. The great symbol of this action is the Horse. Hence we employ the Horse itself in this transformation because ‘the symbol is indeed the thing symbolised’. That we are able to do so clearly reveals that the marriage of ‘heaven’ and ‘earth’ has taken place, as prophesied, for one, in St John’s Revelation (see The Hidden Manna, Aeon Books, 1976).
To sum up, the virginity of this field lies in its disregard of what is transpiring in its midst, of the nature of the transformation, or, for that matter, of any possibility that such a thing could happen anywhere at all, in any corner of the globe. At the same time, the newness of our work lies in the fact that though unaware, unconscious and alien to the endeavour, those unconscious parts themselves were key elements in that they were instruments in equal measure to the rest; and they, more than others, were the channels through which the Supramental Shakti could display her most remarkable capacity to create order in the field and thus to compel the multiplicity no less than the Unity to serve the purposes of the One.
Nothing of this was possible in the days when Sri Aurobindo and the Mother were guiding disciples through the labyrinthine ways of the integral yoga. It is only now, after the Supramental Manifestation of 1956 and events thereafter, that those ‘seeds’ planted then can be cast abroad into the larger field with the mathematical precision that is indeed the principle revealing character of the actions of the Truth-Consciousness, or the Supermind. To further emphasise this point, it was precisely in 1956, after India attained independence that the state of Karnataka was established, whose capital, Bangalore, is the chosen arena for this Yoga of the Horse, harmonising and integrating the One and the Many, the supramental process described herein.
The Third’s Symbol: the organisation of the Vital Plane
The above can, however, help the student to understand the intricate difficulties we have faced in seeking to carry forward the banner of this new and exciting yoga, in the world, of it, but not contaminated by the old. That we were obliged to make use of that very field and no other indicates that the time has come to expand the truth-conscious ‘seed’ at the heart of their work and slowly, gradually, organically and in stages, infiltrate the field beyond. In the 1980s the work of centering was completed. It became possible then to extend beyond the Centre thus established, but carrying within the laws pertaining to the new cosmos and implant them there in the larger field selected for the process. It is a question of various concentric circles, expanding from the central Point. Our present work, involving as it does the 0, the Triad, and the 9, is best described by the diagram here reproduced, the symbol of the Third in the Descent.he centre of the circle is the 0/1 – in this case, it is the Horses. They were bred at Skambha which is the realised physical centre of the Work. Similar to Triptolemos of the Greek Mysteries, the divine Son who is sent abroad to carry the golden ‘seeds’ (symbolised by the grain), so too our first-born have carried the seeds abroad as the One, number-power of the Son. Indeed, the very first to do so was F1 whose birth date does equal 1: 1.10.1988(=1). She was the first in a line of three fillies. The three occupy the inner circle holding the Point of the above symbol, the essential and initial triad of involved energies. And then there is the next circle with the human triad of owner, trainer and jockey. We shall proceed now to describe the exact manner in which the above symbol became a living reality, mathematically ‘reproduced’ in the heart of this unknowing racing arena. It now stands as a blazing emblem to attest to the victory of the Divine and to the prowess of the Supramental Shakti as nothing before it has done.
The trinity was the key to the realisation that would permit these spectacular events to take shape. In January, I was still groping with this matter, painfully aware that an inner movement was required before anything could become unravelled and the desired coming together of the triadic energies would take place. I was also tormented by the fact that F1 had been sent to Madras, the last place I would have wanted any of my horses to race, given its decline over the years. I was bothered by the division of energies, the depletion this was causing of our meagre resources. Above all, by the fact that I intuited what the realisation should be and yet I seemed incapable of attaining the correct poise. One of the impediments was the emotional component brought in by these ‘pets’. The fillies were not just racing machines, purchased in some unknown stud farm or at a yearling sale. They were born and bred at the centre of our work, and had remained in our midst for more that two years before being sent for training. There was thus an emotional bond established with these horses which was hard to ignore or set aside. In other words, sending F1 to Madras and realising that she was ‘trapped’ there, and that this was of my own doing, greatly increased the pressure of this period.
Then there was the time factor. We could not wait eternally for breakthroughs. In racing the horse is limited to just a few years, and within that period the fillies had to fulfil their purpose in this process, whatever that was meant to be. Time was thus slipping by all too quickly. Yet we seemed farther from the goal than ever. We were already into the second half of the Winter Season, and there were no signs of any real progress. F1 had been sent ‘abroad’, but it seemed that through her I was drawn out of my base and trapped in a beyond which was hostile to our endeavour and that this might be a ploy to disperse our energies rather than consolidate them at the centre. Thus, on 12.1.1994, I wrote in my journal,
…What has happened is clear. I have been trapped in their orbit, not they in mine. This means that this Sun is too weak. It does not have the power, the MASS to draw things to itself.
Sending F1 there was the indication that I could not draw to myself what she needed. So, I reached out with her. The result is that I got bogged down THERE, not that she serves to draw THEM here…
…I should have understood that to have mass one has to concentrate in the centre and not extend out. The Sun is what it is because it draws to itself by its mass; and this mass comes by concentration of energy. I have never let this happen. I have always extended out and never accumulated MASS. I thus have no power to draw…
This certainly does not bode well. For even if (Adam) does go to Bangalore it is likely to be the same thing. (Eve) is full of love and goodwill but she ignores her own condition and therefore this goodwill goes nowhere. When she decided to go with (Adam) she became trapped. She did this to keep out of my ‘influence’. The result is that she is trapped in the old creation with him, so totally UNFREE.
But knowing this, why did I not just bide my time, HOLD FIRM and draw the entire system to me?
…I get no answers. At the same time, perhaps it is because I want answers I cannot get. These are not THE answers, they are not WHAT IS. What is is what IS: We are bogged down completely and the only thing to do is BE STILL and wait it out. In the meantime, since I cannot DO anything to de-block, then I have to hand this whole issue – F1 and F2, (Eve) and (Adam) – over to HER (the Supramental Shakti). I must give this to her to handle in her way, leaving her completely FREE to act by virtue of STILLNESS. This immobility is what ‘allows’ her to act through this channel.
‘Mass’ then would simply be immobility, stillness in the core, centred IN HER which then creates an anchor of stillness. This is what is meant by not REACHING OUT, extending beyond. If I remain centred in HER, then she will arrange everything (as often She does irrespective of me).
I understand the problem now. I am relying on MYSELF, while all I should do is gain the poise that will allow HER to act through me. Then she will draw what is needed, repel what is not. It is not only surrendering. It is holding firm too. No movement. No extending. No reaching out.
The mechanism was becoming clear. But it should be pointed out that this was not a new realisation, as such. It formed the basis of my work since 1983-84. In a nutshell, it was the realisation of the Temple, becoming THAT. But while then it was an individual attainment, now the demands of the Yoga were to extend that to the larger arena, the next circle in the ‘symbol’ (reproduced above). Thus the impulse to ‘extend’, to ‘reach out’ was precisely the confusion which this need brought forth. In the process, there was the problem of having to deal with unconscious, or at best semi-conscious instruments, and with no possibility of evading the issue. This was the new field; these were the instruments. And so, beyond any doubt the problem lay in my own inability to ‘hold the centre’, with all that this entailed. That is, to create sufficient ‘mass’ so that, as I had done in the reduced sphere, whatever that ‘sun’ required would be drawn in, and what needed to be rejected would be cast out of the System. The goal was always a manifestation of the inherent divine Purpose which lies in the core of the Sun. In mystic symbolism, it is the divine Son, the One.
After a night spent in this contemplation which offered a clear vision of the realisation required to attain that goal, or at least to approach its attainment, I found myself falling back into the old habits. Thus, on 15.1.1994, just after midnight I wrote,
I have spent the whole day REACHING OUT. Mon Dieu, just what I did not want to do.
Things have to mature. In all this I have pushed and pushed and pushed. It has gotten everything knotted up. That is what happens when there is no energy balance. Then the flow is not smooth. Too much RAJAS causes knots. Too much TAMAS causes collapse. The middle? That alone means no renewal. Stasis. That is not the Horse.
I will never learn. I am the cause of this breakdown. Why blame anyone else? It was my pushing all along that created the problems. And now I want to go on pushing. Let them go at their pace because that is the only pace they can go at.
But my heart weeps for the (fillies) – caught in this trap of no movement because of me. Who knows if and when they will emerge…
What is TRUTH in this? Absolute. Not relative. The truth in that Core. What is it? Who would ever believe I would get so worked up over horses. Mon Dieu, a total immersion.
To see what I have seen today (the inner problems and condition of Eve) is not the problem. The problem is what use I make of it. I want to use that Seeing. But nothing changes, resistances only increase…I have hardened everything by my insistence.
All are instruments of the Shakti. All. And even if I SEE more than they, I cannot make them BE on the basis of my Seeing. They have to see on their own. My insistence is useless. It only hardens…
I have got to let it go. Otherwise the fillies are going to suffer. Let go. NOW.
Mon Dieu how RAJASIC…Always reaching out, pushing out. Never rooted in the centre.
I know perfectly well what the realisation is: the Immobile amidst the Mobile. I know it. I see it. And I realise I do not have it. This is the only thing that matters. Nothing else. No one else. That realisation. While I do not have THAT all the rest means nothing. I just create more confusion.
This is the supramental realisation – or the first along that path. Without this one cannot advance. This is the poise, the AXIS – everything I have been writing about. The Axis means that Immobile amidst the Mobile. It does not mean sitting still, not moving physically. It means that wherever I move I move that Axis along with me, in me. It means I am the Temple.
No, meditation is not all the answer. The ‘technique’ must be something else, something like the Mother said: concentration, not meditation. One can learn to sit still, but then when one gets up and moves that stillness as axis goes. An axis implies that concentration of power like the Shaft of Light. So it is not rigid. It is rooted in the Core. It is simultaneous time. That is the axis – time’s energy compressed, but fluid, supple. Always all things as they should be.
‘It’ does not reach out. Extend. It influences by attraction. By immobility. Can I do it? Mon Dieu… it seems I cannot. I pray it just happens, parce que moi…
The movement of Yoga continued throughout the night. The next morning, at 9:35AM, I took up my journal and began writing again,
Such a hard night realising the acute inadequacies, incapacities. And finally coming to terms with this rajasic pushing, extending, reaching out. Never centred, rooted in the axial alignment. Mon Dieu, I cannot understand how I managed to get anything done at all!
But I must go on. And above all, in this ennead the field of yoga is racing. There I have to learn what I can, and do what I am able to do. Right now I cannot say that anything revolutionary has happened…
We are now in a 5 year. The reversal has taken place. Interestingly, these horses had ALL their wins in 1993, the 4 year. Perhaps they are more in tune with the ennead rhythm than ever I imagined. If so, what does 5 mean in their careers?
One thing seems to have ‘settled in’ from the hard night. I do seem more contained. There are still mental impulsions from time to time leaping out, but it is different. It is less rajasic and combative, more sober. It seems as if there is a greater balance of energies. Rajas is subdued somewhat by Sattva. This is true. And that is what gives more sobriety and less ‘fanaticism’. Would that it could last!
I see now given this new mood that I have to let go of F1’s experience (in Madras) for a while, with the faith that if I keep the right poise it will facilitate what has to be done and that shifts will take place at deeper levels than I can reach with words. I feel this so strongly. But I beg You to protect her and to be everpresent and watchful over the whole unfolding.
…As I observe I realise something has indeed happened: I have LET GO OF MADRAS. I have offered (F1) to you to carry out what you will. Yesterday was decisive. And now perhaps this will allow the knots there to be undone. I cannot expect the conscious awareness I wrote about to come into being overnight. But perhaps my poise will allow the Mother to have free access. After all, one thing is the centre – in this case Bangalore. Another is the periphery. The action has to be different. One DELEGATES. And it is far more mechanical out there. In that sense, probably when shifts occur in the centre they have to have immediate repercussions ‘out there’ because it is so mechanical. So, one puts it in a different gear, and the effects must be felt throughout. Knowing the way this work goes, I suppose it won’t be long before I have confirmation, one way or the other.
The commanding Power that executes
Indeed the results were immediate in coming, but they were not made known to any of us. However, that same day, the Makar Sankranti, celebrated throughout the country as the Sun’s entry into Capricorn, something took place in Bangalore that set in motion a train of events which had bearing on our racing experience. In a race that very day, one of India’s top jockeys failed to perform as the owner by whom he was retained thought he should. It proved to be the proverbial last drop in the bucket. The jockey was sacked. On his part, the owner felt the stewards did not do justice to his complaint and he therefore brought the participation of his 40 horses stabled in Bangalore to a halt. They would be rested for the remainder of the season until a decision would be taken. This left one of the most sought after jobs open and a number of prominent jockeys expressed interest to the owner and his racing manager.
On the heels of this experience, an article appeared in a magazine dedicated to the Indian thoroughbred, featuring women in racing. Eve was interviewed extensively. By then she had acquired the reputation of honesty and ability. The owner, whom we shall call Gog in this essay for the purpose of clarity, was impressed and decided to make a ‘statement’ by turning to this newcomer, renowned for honest riding, rather than hire one of the old guard.
This took some days to materialise. In the meantime, the next night, 16 January, I had an interesting dream which I found important because of the serious introspection of the night before. The gist was that Eve was in Bangalore, where we met. There was a luxurious white car and my own. The white one was ‘powerless’, mine was solid. A curious detail at the end of the dream was that I had finally managed to get my car repaired (during the time of this introspection it had indeed been dysfunctional). I drove off alone, feeling its solidity and power. When I approached a ramp leading on to the highway, I noticed a post in the middle of the road, blocking the way. I kept moving forward confidently, not really knowing how I would manage when I got to the blockade. But as I neared the post, a man, on the order of a lesser highway official, stepped onto the road with impeccable synchronicity and removed it, without causing me even to slow down. I moved onto the highway and joined the other cars.
I awoke from this very long and detailed dream, only a fraction of which I have mentioned here, feeling that ‘something’ was happening out there and that ‘someone’ would provide ‘help’, right on time. Eve was central to the dream and so I felt that she would play a pivotal role in what was to come.
But, let us return to the chronological flow of events. By early February nothing had budged, it seemed. Eve was as determined as ever to maintain her ‘independence’ and cling to her binary status, sharing an entrenched polarity with trainer Adam. On his part, Adam, while desiring to make a break with the past and the decadent condition of the track where he was then based, and move his operation to Bangalore as a part of our ‘team’, was proceeding at his own pace, according to his priorities and private calculations of what was convenient for him.
There were, to be sure, practical justifications for the above. Eve did not have the means to finance a move to Bangalore; while Adam had professional commitments and would not be free until the close of the summer season of the Madras Club, held in Udhagamandalam, or Ooty, as it is known colloquially. This meant another six months, if at all it would come to pass. On her part, at the close of the Madras season and awaiting the commencement of the Ooty summer session, Eve intended to give herself another break and return home. When Adam was ready with his horses in Ooty, she would move there. In other words, as things were proceeding, it was unlikely that this ‘gathering together’ would actually materialise. And meanwhile I felt that time was irretrievably slipping by without anything of the Vision taking shape. We were farther from the goal than ever. Material objections, it was clear, would not hold back the coming together of these energies once resistance to the promptings of the Shakti were overcome. The material details, I knew, would fall into place almost miraculously. But this called for a conscious adherence and willing surrender to that Power. However, this adherence and surrender were no where in evidence. Each participant was centred on his or her own objectives and self-interests. We would get no where on this basis, that much was more than clear.
But the Supramental Shakti had a precise plan envisioned; its details began to surface in early February when, unexpectedly, Gog sent his racing manager to Madras to offer Eve the job coveted by jockeys throughout the whole of India. Not only would she have some of the best horses to ride, she would be given a retainer fee, an apartment and transport. It was an offer impossible to refuse.
The ‘temptation’ of Eve
I was not aware of what was right then transpiring in Madras when I went to Bangalore for F2’s 13th race on February 5th. But just before leaving for the racing venue that day, I found Eve at my door. She informed me of the developments and that she had come for a meeting with Gog to discuss the terms of the contract. In addition, she made it clear, when asked if there were any commitments on her part which would stand in the way of accepting his offer, that there was only one: my three fillies would have to have priority over his horses, given that she had entered racing because of me. He accepted her condition.
This was an extraordinary development. Eve was in racing barely a year, yet she had been offered a position that most of the top jockeys coveted. Accepting this offer would entail an almost immediate move to Bangalore, leaving Adam’s stables in Madras where F1 was then based. But I had no intention of letting the filly stay there for much longer; and Eve, on her part, arranged to be in Bangalore, ready for work, by the middle of March. This would give us time to complete F1’s training. My intention was to enter her in a race in Bangalore, with Adam saddling her, on the 19th of March. After that it would be necessary to arrange to have her re-based there. I was confident this could be worked out.
Thus, on first appearance Gog’s contract seemed like the answer we were all seeking. Eve would move to what I considered the centre of the process, financed by him; but at the same time, she would be able to ride my horses. In addition, this would spur Adam to make his move, I felt, since where the rib goes the body is sure to follow!
However, an uneasiness prevailed. I pondered deeply over the process of yoga leading immediately to this unexpected development. I reflected on the deep introspection, the conviction that there was too much ‘leaping out’ and not enough contained power which seemed to be the means for drawing energies together around a central Sun. I relived the experience of ‘letting go’ and handing the entire affair over to the Supramental Shakti so that there would be no disturbance presented by a rajasic attitude on my part, which, I felt, was the main reason why this triad could not converge at the centre-base of the microcosm. Having done this, the almost immediate result was this spectacular turn of events, set in motion the very day this yogic movement was completed. Was it therefore a blessing or a bane? This was the question. For while Eve would be based at the centre she would nonetheless be involved elsewhere. Things were not entirely clear, but this much was indeed clear: This turn of events was somehow intrinsically related to that yogic movement of ‘letting go’ and surrender.
The salient point of the process and which presented the main obstacle to our endeavour was a conflict of purpose afflicting the participants of our ‘team’. Each had his or her prerogatives; each ignored the divine Purpose that stood at the heart of the process and with which only the horses were in perfect attunement. The task was therefore to dismantle those ‘knots’ which presented something on the order of ‘dark suns’ around which the consciousness of these two protagonists was orbiting. The ‘mass’ I felt lacking in me needed to be enough to dislodge them from their isolated orbits and draw them into the system of the central Sun of a divine Purpose. In a word, ego-interests had to give way to that higher light and power.
For a humanity orbiting a void by virtue of its binary condition, this is an immensely difficult transition to make, particularly so since everything and everyone surrounding the subject reinforces the misalignment. And when dealing with a situation such as a partnership or a relationship based on an emotional attachment, the matter is even more complex because each props up the other on the binary polarity. The pole is thus hardened, reinforced continuously, making any breakthrough difficult if not impossible. To add to the complexity of the problem, it seemed that my yogic movement of stillness and surrender had simply allowed the Supramental Shakti to arrange matters in such a way as to draw Eve to Bangalore but not at all in orbit of this divine Purpose. Rather, her ‘independence’ was reinforced regardless of the condition she set for accepting the offer, – that is, priority to my horses. How this would be managed once she took up her work was not entirely clear. And however we assessed the matter, a stable of 30 or 40 horses compared to my 3 would perforce represent the greater ‘mass.’
The contract was clearly a personal victory for Eve and a great boost to her career. She had started late – at the age of 33, perhaps unheard of in the world of racing. She had had to bear all the difficulties a woman faces when entering a male dominated sphere of activity. This, then, seemed to be the blessings of the Mother showered upon her. I expressed my delight and encouraged her to accept and not look back. By that time I was in a state of total acceptance. The matter had been ‘handed over’. Whatever evolved from that point on was in ‘her hands’. I would not, could not interfere.
But it was a strange turn of events. However magnanimous I sought to be there was that fact that adherence on the part of these two key protagonists of the ‘team’ was not in evidence. Rather, this contract provided Eve with a means to come to Bangalore on her own terms and completely independent of whatever I sought to do. Though drawn to the centre in this irresistible manner, she was, in consciousness, farther away than ever because that move simply meant a reinforcement of the binary condition. As far as my perception went, I sensed an increase of resistance, a definitive statement. Difficulties were likely to increase rather than decrease, even though the practical problem of finance was apparently being resolved.
Thus, when I returned from Bangalore after this meeting with Eve and F2’s race, I held a discussion on the 8th and 9th of February with students residing at Skambha who had been closely following the developments. None, much less Eve, knew of the intense yoga I had been engaged in regarding this matter during the first half of January:
8 February 1994
…I started recapitulating, going over it and I thought, ‘Well, what happened here?’ Let’s see…for 9 days there was no communication whatsoever. Madras was like in a black hole. What caused that?
Now, I keep saying that all of this had to do with the yoga I was doing. This was very mathematical…And it did. The only thing is that if we are rejoicing, thinking that this means everything is solved, we are just BEGINNING. This is just the beginning. Not only did I take all of (Eve’s) ‘baggage’. I’ve got all this other from the periphery swept in. And why? Because the instruments aren’t given. So, every time you do this you get the work done somehow, but you take in added baggage. Remember we were talking about encumbrances, how out in the periphery you get these encumbrances, and they slow everything down. Then I started going over it and I remember giving it up, letting Madras go. That is when it fell into a black hole. All of this happened at exactly the same time.
Absolutely fascinating. It started from my birthday and it went on; because the letter I wrote to (Eve) which I never mailed (and that makes interesting reading now) was on the 14th, exactly 9 days after my birthday. Then the 15th was the turning point because I held it back and said, No, let it go, let the Force handle it. The 15th was that race, on the Makar Sankranti, and all those days there was that intense period when all that yoga was done. Then it went into that black hole, completely cut off out there. And suddenly this. It all comes to life again.
So, you think, my God, this is incredible. I leave it to the Supramental Shakti, because only in that way can she arrange things… And she really did. It seems incredible.
But I know better. And I knew that nothing was worked out on that level, and that somebody is having a good laugh at all of us because the whole thing isn’t as simple as it seems. I mean, on a certain level, yes. Obviously (Eve) being there and (Adam), I have peace of mind about the horses. But in terms of the energies and what we brought in, we were really just beginning.
Remember that I was telling you about this sort of ‘felt vision’, about generally what my yoga is: putting ‘order’ in the periphery, draining it of those energies that would slow down the movement, and arranging for that ‘birth’ to take place. So, in order for this birth to take place you have to settle that ‘womb’, – because the Mother just left the energies there and took off! What I have to do is arrange it so that the ‘birth’ is allowed.
We have done this with the horses. We’ve done this with (F1) going first; take it as the 9: she opens the path. Unknown pedigree, we go through all of that, she starts her career the same month as (Adam) gets his licence and starts training. And ostensibly, it seems that Gog came in at the same time. We were all there, somewhere. We come together at certain points…
But there is this ‘putting order’ because in order to give the right ‘birth’, you have to have the right ingredients of the field, otherwise the field will overpower it; and you will have the same contamination. So, the work was very clear: you have to put order in all of this to allow for that.
Then along comes (F2) and she does her bit by holding firm at the centre and from that position everything is beginning to be put in place. Then we come to the third (F3) and it is very clear that she has to have all of that ready and done because that is not her job. So it is very interesting that she is not to leave (for training) until these final pieces are put in. To the day! Because she isn’t supposed to move from trainer to trainer and go through all that. What she has to do, in other words, is the job of the Third which is the PROCESS. She is to establish the 0 in interval training. She is supposed to have the full 9 months (interval training’s 3+3+3). How are we going to arrange this? …Obviously some of the key elements are brought in now, exactly on time, so that when she gets there it seems she will be able to do her job, now that everyone else has done theirs.
I have always said that in this racing experience the ‘void’ is that 0 which is the training. We are discussing 9 races all the time. But we just went in from the 0 point. I have hardly discussed anything of the training period. We never discussed it because that was the void. It didn’t exist. All right. But first you have to do the whole field, you have to organise the ‘womb’ …You have to draw all this in and put everything in its place and settle everything to allow for this. We assume then that is what is happening because (F3) seems to be taken care of in this respect.
So, this was going on from my birthday. What was interesting was this: [my] trying to avoid the ‘labour’. You know, it is so hard, and dangerous, not really realising that that is one of the most attractive aspects of this work – it is to be able to CONSCIOUSLY do this. And you know what you are doing in setting these things in their place, as disagreeable as it is. [But] you always want the easy way. You want it to be nice and happy-go-lucky and . . . But it doesn’t really happen that way because all of that is superficial. All of that has absolutely nothing to do . . . I mean, we may think that getting this job done is going to be straightening out the racing scene.
And . . . it has absolutely nothing to do with that at all. That is just the field where this work has to be done. More interesting is the forces drawn in. Much more to the mark.
So, that was partly why I had to be put in a state where I wouldn’t see it. In other words, I had to be sufficiently depleted of energy [with a cold] that I wouldn’t interfere with what was going to happen – namely, [Eve] coming with the proposition and asking me, ‘What do you think?’ Had I been in my ‘senses’, you know, fully alert, which I wasn’t, I probably would have interfered. That is, I would have put some doubts which might have stalled this whole thing. I can’t say that I would have, but I would have taken a little bit more time and gone into it; and (then) I would have made connections right away which I was not able to do until I had last night’s sleep and slept until 5 in the morning, straight through. When I woke up, I said, ‘Oh, my God, what a fool you are . . . ‘, realising where we really are. Not that anything had changed. Just really realising what you set in motion, that you handed it over to the Shakti to arrange because you didn’t want to interfere. You didn’t want to ‘leap out’, to do anything and that therefore this is what happened!
So, then you think, ‘Oh, it’s wonderful. I made the right move in yoga’. But no. I got myself into deeper water because it is in the logic of what is happening that when you draw in the periphery like this, you are bound to bring in contamination because that is where it (lies). Nobody has made any progress there at all. They are totally unconscious.
Even [Eve] now things, ‘I’m saved . . . because I put the right condition: her horses!’ So, everybody thinks , Isn’t that wonderful, she did the right thing. Whereas, in effect, what all of this tells you is, What is [Eve’s] price in this? An apartment, a car . . . ? You understand? Does she really realise what has happened? The Shakti wants to get her there because I am told, ‘Look, this has got to go fast and in your “time”, not theirs. Leave it to me.’ So, she is brought there and in the only way she will accept. [Eve] thinks she is not open to any of this [material enticements], that she is above it all…. It had to be made sufficiently ‘attractive, all the ‘adventure’ involved, getting back at everyone [for the difficulties put in her way as a woman in a traditionally man’s field], all of these legitimate things on the human level. Very legitimate.
Then finally, the key in this is she is coming on her terms not mine. You understand? That’s the key element in that the contract is between her and Gog. She calls the shots. He wants her and needs her. I have needed her for a whole year and she has been resisting and resisting. And suddenly he comes up with this offer, and she is right there!
The temptation? Now you are getting closer to the mark, because Eve and the temptation, you know . . . What is it? What does she do? She really corrupts the whole scene! And in effect that is what happened.
Now I have the feeling that somewhere in the back of her mind a little voice is telling her, ‘Now, wait a minute, you are flying too high. Something is going to hit you . . . ‘.
But before all of this, by the 12th I was really in the dumps. By the 12th I was saying, ‘You just don’t have it, you just are not . . .’ I remember waking up in the middle of the night and thinking, ‘Oh, this is just too difficult.’ It was about all those ‘encumbrances’ and the weight of all that. And there was [F1] out there, adding HER weight to the whole thing, you see. And so, I said, ‘You yourself sent her out there, and then, not only do you have all of that, but you’ve got [F1], that bolting, which is all that ENERGY thrown in.
So, what is required? This ‘mass’. What is the characteristic of this mass? How does it ‘hold’? It holds by its mass, and what is that really? And so, all of this was going on . . . You saw that it isn’t by extending out. But how do you really get that ‘magnet’, that ‘mass’ sufficient to pull in? Because what is happening is that I have done it INDIVIDUALLY. I could do it in this sphere. But we are extending this arena considerably.
Then, when you get somebody like [F1] who had it all inside of her throughout – much more than [F2] would ever have, because she had been containing it for two or three years – and then throws it all out, you know that all of that is THERE. And it is TREMENDOUS. This is just too much. There is not enough mass to pull all of that in. I could see it. I could see that the movement was wrong. It was like . . . Trying to deal with that, that effort . . . Whereas the only effort was . . .
What does the Mother mean by ‘concentration’ in the Room (of the Temple). Of course I was thinking of the Room, and I said, ‘Well, the axis. This is clearly it – the Immobile amidst the Mobile.’ But it’s not non-action. It’s ‘immobile’, but it MOVES, because obviously the symbol of the Horse couldn’t be used if it didn’t move. So, that’s not it. It’s just concentration of power and… How do you do that? You do that by that axis which BALANCES all these energies.
So, I was watching all these movements and I could see that rajasic tendency. Break through. Put your effort out, break through that. I saw that all of that was going into making that mass in the periphery even heavier. That the more you did THERE, the more resistance. However, and here comes the most important part: What are we trying to do?
What has happened now is simply again the victory of the old creation. Meaning totally unconscious elements are made to do the Divine Will, without any consciousness of what they are doing, without any overt participation. That is the story of the old creation.
The Divine can intervene, yes, but what are WE trying to do? We are trying to make a CONSCIOUS movement, and that is the whole key. So, when I ‘let go’, what happened was… There’s a particular thing that has to be fulfilled. It has to be on time. So those elements are going to be brought in line. But they are brought in line TOTALLY UNCONSCIOUSLY. And that is when you draw in darkness. That is when this one, that one gets an opening. Because those elements out there are unconscious. Yet they must be drawn in.
It’s obviously the process that took place in the Ashram too, when the Mother needed someone and she had to take in all that baggage (the whole family) in order to get the work done.
Exactly. Now, if we continue in this way we will get nowhere, you understand. This is defeating its own purpose. That is why I am writing and writing, trying to enlighten. Because I know that we can’t do it in that way. It has to be conscious awareness. It has to be for the simple reason that as long as we continue like that, resisting, we have two possibilities. One is destruction – the earthquakes, this and that, the ‘accident’, falling, breaking… But which makes no difference because, you see, it changed nothing in (Eve). Absolutely nothing. She may feel she has changed, but there is not one iota of change. The proof is: What was needed to get her to Bangalore? You see, You had to prey on the ego totally. There wasn’t one element of the Divine there. Give everything that the ego wants, give it all, and she leaps to the whole thing. Every single condition of the ego was fulfilled.
So, we have a choice. Do we want that? For people who are on the periphery it is okay, but when you are in the centre of this work obviously we cannot do that…(Eve) thinks that she is doing it, but in effect, unless you make that central surrender you can never do it. You get exactly what you have.
Now, if you like that, that’s fine. Then you become an unconscious instrument. But at the same time I have to take the repercussions. I am going to have to deal with that. If I thought I was going to be let off the hook? …You see, that is my problem. ‘I’ve got to get this out of the way because I have to get on with my work.’ And then I stop and say, ‘Who are you fooling? Where is the work?’ I know that it’s here. I know what I am doing, very aware of it every minute. But it begins to get very disagreeable. Then you realise, I’ve got all this (at Skambha) to do, all of this weighing (down). I won’t be able to cope with it all. So, you would like something nice and easy to come in and sort it all out.
But in effect I know that if I get the training and the care and the exercise under control it is only because I am going to have to deal with another level of what is going on there. Which is obviously much more demanding. So, who knows what lies ahead. The fact is that if this gets settled to relieve me of a certain amount of involvement and releases my energies and concentration, it doesn’t mean that it will allow me to go somewhere else and do something else. It means that we are going to be in a different phase which is symbolised by (F3), the third. We are making the Bridge now. But especially that ‘choice’ – the old creation or the new. There is no way out. And the only way that this work will get done is with the ‘conscious awareness’. So, let me go on and read the letter which I wrote to (Eve) and never sent. It is extremely interesting reading…
Vertical splits and Hemispheric divides
In the midst of the intense movement of yoga of early January, culminating on the 14th and 15th of the month, I ‘saw’ the problem of someone like Eve, – that is, people of goodwill but afflicted with the burden of unconsciousness. It seemed obvious that insofar as a conscious awareness was demanded of this work, then somehow this unconsciousness had to be dealt with. For each individual the problem is different, each one has his or her individual ‘knot’ in this lifetime. Often the zodiacal sign of birth can assist the subject to understand what that ‘knot’ is and the means to unravel it and be freed of its deadening weight. This seemed to be particularly the case with Eve since she was, in my view, an almost archetypal Sagittarian. In the following letter I discuss this question of a zodiacal pattern, as well as other relevant matters concerning our ‘process’. But, as stated, the letter was never mailed.
For a long while now, since our experience together came to an abrupt end in Mysore (venue of the ‘accident’; see TVN 8/4), I have been keenly observing the ‘flow’ of things. My impression is that there are ENCUMBRANCES, and that these are slowing the flow down. I try therefore to make a separation, keep things from getting mixed up and thus one thing contaminating the other. But the truth is we are dealing with ONE SYSTEM, with one Sun, like it or not; and then planets with their satellites, as I described in ‘Vishaal’ (ibid).
The point is, something is WEIGHING DOWN the System, slowing down the movement, the ‘speed’ which the Horse is supposed to represent. Almost to a standstill. My innermost feeling is that something ‘out there’, in that far periphery, has hardened almost to a rock. All this hardening has added more weight to these encumbrances so that they have the power to slow everything down and bring the impulsion to a halt.
What is more than clear is that we are not advancing toward any form of unity, unifying the System, with all energies brought INTO HARMONY and working together in unison so that the One Goal is achieved. At this stage in the endeavour, this ‘one goal’ would obviously mean the formidable task of getting everyone in Bangalore, collected together in one spot. Not only are we not nearer this goal, as things have taken shape since Mysore, even if we do get to Bangalore as one team at some point, it will not be in the RIGHT POISE. It will be carrying that contamination to Bangalore itself, rather than bring anything ‘higher’ into that centre.
Though I have tried to arrange things differently, you are central to all this, therefore I am writing to you in detail, spelling it out as I see it, in the hope that you will somehow come to understand what you are doing, how your poise is serving only to harden that satellite system to the point of rendering it an encumbrance. In other words, a WEIGHT pulling everything out of gear so that nothing is ‘in its place’. Therefore, right use cannot be made out of these available energies. Not being ‘in place’ means that they cannot combine IN HARMONY – the only way such an ambitious endeavour can succeed, the only way to fulfil the Purpose, the Goal.
Even now all the work you are doing with (F1) is simply going into consolidation of that separate system and not to bring harmony and unity. This may seem impossible to believe. You surely feel you are ‘getting your act together’ very nicely. While that may be true, the question is, what act?or whose? and for what ‘purpose’? This is what I propose to explain.
When I got involved in this I realised that I was taking on the burden of a TEAM. In a sense, Skambha was and is a collective endeavour, but with a clear purpose and goal. No one disputes that fact…
But this horse experience with you and (Adam) was different. It was trying to create a ‘team harmony’ – that is, ALL energies gathered together with a common purpose, a higher purpose at that – and in orbit of a CENTRAL WILL. Not yours, or (Adam’s), or mine. Something else, beyond all of us. Most important. However, I attempted to do this not with ‘my own people’ as it were, but with people out there, in the world, you and (Adam) who are ‘of the world’, worldly, not doing yoga, making no attempt to rid yourselves of your egos. In fact, not even knowing what that is or might signify, that it means the obstinacy of the sex-centre will in opposition to the divine Will. I was pretending to work with these elements and somehow expected to get this act together. Clearly, it was doomed to failure because all of this hinges entirely on CONSCIOUS AWARENESS. This had not been in evidence at any time. Hence the failure to succeed and the present impasse.
Indeed, not only did I fail, it gets worse and worse. Perhaps this is because the ego is very clever at camouflaging itself and getting its way by fooling you into believing it is not what it truly is.
…There has been a steady degeneration of a very insidious type, very hard to detect because it was so camouflaged. The result of this mechanical response has been the fortification built up so that nothing could disturb that satellite-system, draw it off ITS chosen course and into another world, a higher dimension. All this time this hardening has been going on…together with the hardening of your bones.
When the ‘accident’ took place, with everything that led to it, I realised just how hard those crusts were. So hard that (F2’s) act of ‘putting each thing in its place’ (see TVN 8/4) had to be done via CATASTROPHE. The accident by its very necessity meant that crusts were such that any action of ‘adjustment’ was going to have to be catastrophic. That is, it would be IN PROPORTION TO THE RESISTANCE. And so it was…
Then there was (F1) to attend to. The blockage in Bangalore seemed to indicate that she, unlike (F2), could be ‘sent beyond’ again for cure. But the fact that, unlike before, she got STUCK THERE, in that hole, proved that the hardness has increased enormously. The mass/gravity is such that once in the vicinity of that satellite she could not get out! (That was the sadness I felt in her when I saw her there…)
…For the fact is, she is now adding HER weight to that encumbrance. And her energy/weight/mass is quite formidable, much more than anything you could add with your ego-centre. The proof is all the energy she put into her Sagittarian bolting saga with you, which was not really wasted but went into SLOWING EVERYTHING DOWN. It is not only affecting her. It is having a direct repercussion on (F2). She is there is Bangalore, at the centre, trying to hold everything together on her own, alone. But she is weighed down by (F1) in the outer reaches of the System. She is supposed to draw all that to herself. But she is finding it too ‘weighty’. This is because (F1) is there, compelled by the mess in that periphery, to pit her weight against (F2’s). Clearly the former is winning out because (F2) is ‘genuine’; and she stands alone. While (F1) has you and Adam to help sustain the ego-system… Being so ‘unfree’, she is compelled TO SERVE YOUR PURPOSE, your ego-will, and not the central Sun which (F2) stands for.
(The discussion at Skambha resumed here): There was this understanding of having (F1’s) weight out there. This is when it becomes overbearing. And (Eve’s) participation, so much in darkness, so unconscious. But it seemed all of my own doing, that all these people are being drawn in and that I could not run away from my own responsibility and certain decisions, like sending (F1)…
(F2) hadn’t raced for five weeks. It was all during this time that I could not deal with her because I was caught, and I said, ‘I’m caught in their orbit, and I know what is going on: this is the old creation, Adam and Eve.’ Each time you have to deal with that you are making the wrong movement because you are adding to the resistance. So the whole shift had to come about and this was very difficult ‘seeing’ because I was completely in a fog about how to cope with this situation. When (Eve) decided to go there she became trapped. She did this to keep out of my ‘influence’. This is exactly the way things got sorted out.
It then becomes an extension of her decision, this Gog matter.
Of course. It was before that (offer) that I wrote this…trapped in the old creation, so totally unfree…
Do you think that if you would have offered her the same thing she would have accepted?
No, because it was to get out of my ‘influence’. And that is the key to the whole thing. This is anti-divine, this resistance. I told (Eve) the same thing. She can even hear this tape and it wouldn’t matter anyway. People, when you are OUT THERE you have ‘crusts’. That is why destruction doesn’t matter because all it does is create more ‘crusts’. So, the whole ‘accident’ thing was useless…
…Now, how does she respond to that (destruction)? She responds by making these crusts and buffers and that is what the ego does. So that if you go along so many times like that you have no chance at redemption. Not because the Divine Grace is not there, but simply because you are not able to get in the right poise. You cannot put yourself in the right poise in order to receive that Grace and allow it to work on you. You are closing it out virtually by your own poise.
Well, in a sense that is what I am doing with myself. Because if I talk to you like this, I am much more demanding of myself, but also much more picayune. I mean, I go into every nook and corner; so it ends up that the demands I put on myself are a hundred times more. And until I am satisfied, and it is clear, I’ll just hang in there and go on and on until it is finally cleared up.
So, it is this ‘poise’. I could see it, – the rajasic, you leap out and then rajas is no good. You stay static in sattva and you are static. That is not the point. The other caves in, tamas. You really have to have the proper alignment and that is when that beautiful spontaneity, that axis, is there, the Shakti can work through you.
So, I was asking these questions. What went wrong? Because, you see, I was getting no answers. That was quite depressing. And then of course it occurred to me that I wasn’t getting the answers because they were the ones I WANTED, and they were not the answers that WERE. What IS, what IS, what really IS. And so, I realised that we were completely bogged down and that the only thing to do at that point was really: BE STILL, and wait it out.
Now starts the whole thing…because since I cannot DO anything, (reads from journal) …to de-block, then I have to hand this whole issue over to Her to handle in Her own way.
This becomes very interesting: In Her way…leaving Her completely FREE to act, because I realised that when you are out of that poise then you are blocking the free action of that Power…leaving her completely free to act by virtue of stillness. This immobility is what allows her to act through this channel.
Now, knowing this so thoroughly, when I cleared up all of that, then it went on from there:
Mass then would simply be immobility, stillness in the Core, centred in her which then creates an anchor of stillness. I was getting all this from (F2). She was like this ANCHOR, really holding the CENTRE.
You see, it is a question of power. This yoga is very difficult because you say ‘surrender’, and what happens, you fall into tamas. You think, I am not doing anything, I am not interfering. It is not that at all because you have to concentrate the power. It is very different. You can surrender, ‘You deal with it, I don’t want to be bothered.’ And you sit back and pat yourself on the back because you think, ‘I’ve surrendered!’ That is the old stuff and it has nothing to do with this yoga. This is a conscious poise and that ‘action in non-action’, yes, very much. But it is even more than that, more than that.
…When all of this started becoming clear, then, my usual self, I thought, ‘I’ve got to enlighten (Eve), she’s got to know this!’ because then I realised she was in the ‘degrees of the Chamber’ (in her movement through the Gnostic Circle: 10 degrees to 15 degrees Capricorn). Isn’t this interesting, I thought, maybe this is the moment. So then I wrote all of this…
(The reading of the letter resumes): …And this brings me to the core of the problem: unconsciousness. Because of this the ego can camouflage itself so thoroughly. I am going to dissect this because it is important to do so at this very time…
Like the true ‘centaur’ that you are, there is a complete split, – of hemispheres. Gemini suffers from a split, but that is vertical (hence the image of the Twins in The Magical Carousel speaking in unison but separate). It is a left/right split. The being is divided down the middle but all the centres are nonetheless involved. But though they are involved, they are weakened. Hence in The Magical Carousel the Twins exclaim, ‘Two minds are better than one!’ For unless they are ‘brought into harmony’ (Shiva/Shakti) the split renders the subject too weak.
Your sign opposite to Gemini is different. It also suffers from a split, but this is HORIZONTAL. The being is split into two hemispheres. Thus there is a LOWER and a HIGHER being. The two have no connection because the linking mechanism (the higher centre of Mind and the psyche) is missing. Actually, the soul is in the middle of it all. It can exert influence on both lower and higher from this central position and thereby draw the two into harmony. But since most humans are not under the influence of the soul, that option is excluded. They have to use the mind, a poor second choice. Everyone has to rely on the higher hemisphere mental centre to cajole and coerce the naughty Centaur lower half (vital, physical, instinctive) to ‘obey’. Thus, as The Magical Carousel says, to get ‘the heart and the mind to work together’. When this does not happen we have a creature in one or the other hemisphere, disconnected. In your case, you are identified with the vital and physical centres. And these are cut off from any higher light. So, they are ‘in the dark’. These are the centres of your being which govern, control your life. They determine all your actions. And yet they are completely devoid of Light. This means UNCONSCIOUS. The hard part for the Centaur is precisely the fact that the split is horizontal and therefore CUT OFF. It is another being entirely…
You want sincerely to help. And yet, as you can see, everything you do serves to draw you farther and farther away and apart from the goal you might believe you are working for. In effect, there is only one objective in your life, in this and any other matter, and there always has been. And that is to keep ‘control’ and ‘free’. Meaning, to make sure that nothing, no HIGHER power and light interferes and pulls you out of that rut and into another TRULY FREE System…
(The discussion continues): …This (reading) is like a lesson. We can all translate this into our lives, every step of the way. Precious. This is the old creation I am describing – these ‘ruts’. This is exactly the problem.
Remember then that I did not send the letter, I sent ‘the (chocolate) apple’, and I wrote, “This is the temptation!” (The pun was that as a jockey she had to watch her weight.)
That is why the Mother wrote, – the Truth-Consciousness: only without ego. That is the key.
You can see why I did not send this letter off. I let go of it and said, ‘P, you are doing the same thing again. You are pretending to enlighten and all of this will only go to the resistance because that is the whole point: unconsciousness.’ That is when the whole thing fell into a black hole with no communication. Then the Shakti did it. She gave in, – that is, she worked it out with the ego enticements and it was done in a day.
And it seems so miraculous, so ideal. It is neither ideal or not ideal. It has nothing to do with that. It is just that, given the condition of alignment, the condition of the human being, there is nothing that can be done but to use the means of the ego to get the work done. And of course, after all of this came that dream. You understand then why it was so very important, because it came right after. The beautiful white car, obviously Gog’s offer; no power, the enticement, my car, the obstacle removed (obviously his racing manager) and we get on the highway…
So, the real problem is that this work cannot be done effectively with unconsciousness because you draw in too much. It then becomes the mass that outweighs everything else. So, in order to avoid all of this you have to make this conscious surrender on the basis of a conscious awareness. And this is what is difficult to achieve. In this case, all that has happened is that these people had to be there and the only way they could be gotten there was through the ego and nothing else.
What does that bring to our work? Well, it brings in all of that baggage… Lord knows what we are headed for out there, but it is not going to be easy because the thing is really just starting. And I do not mean for (Eve). I think it will be all right for her. I think the burden is in my Yoga. The burden is that you have taken in a lot more energies and let us hope that we can sustain it, that’s all.
9 February 1994
The first option would have been conscious forces, but since that didn’t happen and you had to use mechanical forces, is that part of the transformation of these people who are involved in this? Or is it a higher purpose and is it something that they’ll be involved in, like the horses…
Well, you have to remember, this is always a microscopic experiment for a larger purpose of which the Horse is always central. They are the ones doing the ‘yoga’ really, and are the instruments, and everyone else is just facilitating that. So, calling in those mechanical forces…
It is not an individual transformation there, I don’t think. Because individual transformation relies entirely on consciousness and the desire to (transform). At the same time, you cannot supersede the instrument. I mean, the instrument is very valuable and this work is based on that. It has to go through an individual instrument. So how much of a transformation are you expecting there? I do not know. When they play a representative role, obviously you deal with them as if they are the elements because they are representing something. So you must work with that, the agency that is to be transformed. How far can you go in this case? Because, as I say, mechanical responses are such that… It is the difference between Western psychology and the Indian. That is fundamental to the issue right now at all levels: How deep do you go?
…What we are talking about when we say, transform an instrument. I am talking about the poise vis-à-vis the Divine and not the ego. So, are these people even aware of any kind of distinction like that? Obviously they cannot be, you know, because that would mean having made the choice of Yoga. Having made that choice in life. Like I said, any of you would have taken this whole thing quite differently because you have at least seen that necessity, to make the choice. But of course these people aren’t (doing yoga).
So, what we could say is that (we are) perhaps bringing in all that mechanical dark energy in order to change it. Not change it as such, but have it serve the purposes of the One. And that will definitely happen, whatever. But changing it, transforming it? I don’t know how far it can go because these levels are very deep, mechanical responses. This fact of having had to rely on that really causes a bit of concern. Such a definitive statement made that this is as much as we can do, and that is all… The Ignorance is in power and it is able to do this much damage.
It is also able to manipulate everything into this situation.
Sure. But then again, as I said, by mechanical means, by using people’s egos, dangling carrots…and everybody took the bait. But at the cost of what? At the cost of drawing in a lot of extra baggage.
So, when you say, we’ll re-group, we’ll gather there, – on what basis? This remains to be seen now. This is the stage we are entering. On what basis? The third horse has gone today, just arrived there on the scene. So you can expect that at this level we are not going to be much concerned with ‘gathering in the energies’, which (F2) did, collecting all these energies in one big ‘pot’, let us say. She would be equivalent to the Mother’s position in the scale, the 6. This is now putting each thing in its place.
So, you would imagine a lot of that is going to be going on now, when this little ‘cosmos’ is to get very well defined. And all of this will involve the training process, which is what has been lacking until now, and which is what I added to this work also: that process.
This will be tremendously interesting to see. And it will call in its own play of forces, resistances, and all kinds of things – from outside even…
My goal right now is just to study this whole thing very carefully and let things get drawn in and find their place, and let the horses ‘do the yoga’, do what they have to do out there.
I feel that I have to let things settle now, like aftershocks. Let them settle in and start on this new phase gradually. And there is also (F1). I don’t know what is going to happen with her, but if she is meant to go on racing, it certainly has to be in Bangalore. How is she going to get back there?
To wind this up, the points to be made are really the difference in this yoga. You know, in that Chamber it is very interesting. There is the outer circle…You have three concentric circles. The centre, then the one formed by the pillars, and then the walls. And of course, I always saw that the outer one is in the dark. The only light that is supposed to be in the room is the Globe. You have that outer periphery and there are instruments that are placed out there. Now, the question is, How to hold them in orbit anyway? Well, that was the work I was doing, – that ‘centering’, that concentration of power, like the Mother said. That mass which is sufficient to…But then we could say that that tremendous effort I made, which shook me up physically a bit, was also considering the weight that one was bringing in. Now, what I read yesterday…that having (F1) out there was like adding a tremendous power. And she has more power than the other horses. I have always known this, that she has had it all closed up.
And that is the great contribution of the Ignorance. The Ignorance is like an inert stone that contains power unleashed. That is how it is able to be this mass which pulls everything off orbit. So, it just closes the Light in. It is really like a dark black hole that pulls everything off. (F1) is like that with these hard crusts: all this power never comes out. Then she releases it out there. Of course, it was an extremely interesting fact – she did release it, she added her weight to all of that and then you had to make this even greater effort to ‘pull’. To centre this thing.
So, it worked, it did. Except that we had to use the means of the ego. And there was no way out because in no way would (Eve) have come to Bangalore with me central to the operation. She honestly would have found, not consciously…A hundred things would have gotten in the way, would have conspired…Legitimate, you know, she would have been with her horses in Ooty, exercising would have been out, there would have been that dispersal of energy on (Adam’s) part which I hope is eliminated now. He would have had one half of his brain up there and the other in Bangalore and nothing would have been accomplished. So the fact that she has something else, somebody else at the centre and she can do that, is fine.
Now, is that allowed to be, and for how long? Because me being on the periphery of all this, with a few horses that she will be exercising in a way that does not conflict with Gog’s interests, is a very meaningful statement. I mean, whether you say it is priority to me or not, he is paying. The contract is with him…
You want that freedom? You want to be out of (this orbit)…? Of course we have to accept the situation. But I can accept it beautifully as long as I am able to go on doing my thing. I am quite happy. And as long as the horses are able to perform their ‘yoga’, so to speak. I am happy too. But in the higher vision of the thing, what is really meant to be? I know we are just beginning. I know that this is now stepping ‘over the threshold’. We are going from the 0 to the 1. Now we are just beginning. And this means also that this is the beginning of the performance of the horses. The horses are going to start performing like they never have before. All of this is just beginning.
But, at the same time, you know, each thing, each little progress that you make calls in a lot of other energy that you have to deal with – antagonisms, and all that sort of thing.
Mechanical nature – you know the Indian psychology, that is why they go so deeply. They have this Purush/Prakriti, and that is the lower hemisphere still. And yet, a lot of their yogas are based on the dual power, Purush/Prakriti. Prakriti is mechanical nature and the Purush is the conscious Witness – consciousness, you know. But this thing is even higher than that. You have even got to go a step above that.
Certainly anything mechanical in evidence means that…And the physical is practically governed by mechanical responses. You can imagine, to transform that…When you talk of transforming the physical it means an enormous job. But this is the same process. This is the way to the transformation of the physical. You have to start first by getting that ‘axis’, that poise of consciousness; and then in the same way that we are working this out, the same has to be translated into the individual transformation on all levels of the being, down to the physical. The same formula all the way down the line. Very same formula. You are dealing with energies, you have got to release energies. You have got to get their consent. Like these people that X is guiding. It is nonsense. And this isn’t something you can do with ‘goodwill’ and ‘surrender’. You have to have KNOWLEDGE. You simply cannot because like the experiences I have been going through: I knew there was an inadequacy there.
That is what started the whole movement. I knew this is not sufficient power: the poise that I now have is insufficient to deal with this. It cannot. That was a fact, and until I made that adjustment, until I readjusted everything and very meticulously, everything was blocked. It was going nowhere. You had to reach out; you had to make that leap, let’s say. There was this ‘process’, or whatever you want to call it. It was there, this integration process was there. But I could see that the mass, the concentrated power was not enough to be able to handle all of this; and so, very meticulously, you tune up again. You tune up again and get it to the point where it does…
So, you cannot do this just like that. You’ve got to KNOW, like a scientist, exactly what you are doing. I knew exactly what was going on. I knew that there was a deficiency. I knew where the deficiency was. I could see it. I could see the movements, the inner movement of consciousness which was depleting, which was…And with a specific purpose, I knew what had to be done.
I don’t know of anyone else who is doing this kind of work. Clearly this has been building up for many years, so it is going on and it is succeeding, if only to get to the point when you know where the deficiencies are; and you are actually able to tune them up. But, as I say, the response, though spectacular as it was, was spectacular because it was so mechanical.
Now, what is it the Mother said? Something about…how was it…‘In this yoga the victory does not come with a roar of a lion or the beat of a drum’, or something like that. You know, it is very true. It doesn’t happen. That is why I got suspicious…from the beginning (about Eve’s contract). This is a little bit too ‘miraculous’ for my taste. This is the old way. An imposition from outside. Meaning, every time there is an imposition, the ego is involved. It means that your outer nature is imposing on the inner and getting its way. So, you have to use that. You end up using that and it can do spectacular things. You understand then why gurus like X and others can get certain spectacular results. They are using the wrong way. But for their devotees, it is the right way, it is the only way they know. To them it is all that matters, and that is fine. But when you analyse it in the terms of what we are supposed to do, remember always this: growth from within, not (imposed from) outside. That is a very key point and that is why there are usually no spectacular happenings, because you know…
The really spectacular happening was what was going on in this room days before. That was the really spectacular event which nobody knew anything about. And then you get this outer flapping out there and that is ‘spectacular’, you know. And of course it will serve our purposes. Obviously there are a lot of things put in place by this in terms of the resistances that we were having to face. It was pretty tough. And that will be for a purpose, obviously, because we are going to go into a phase where that process has to be worked out. So, probably at this point we cannot be bothered with (the search for jockey, etc.) and all this nonsense. We need to have all our energies geared to work out this process which is going to be very much aligned to the process of yoga and the process of transformation of energies, you see.
That is why we need to have this ‘team’ functioning with reasonable acceptance there so that we don’t have to face all this other nonsense. And, you know, those restrictions (that Eve could not ride in a race with more than ten horses in the field, etc.) would never have been lifted because they were in her being. Not that she didn’t want it lifted, but for reasons totally mechanical. And so they never would have been lifted, you understand, because she would never have been able to deal with that central problem…
So they could have been lifted if she had made the right (inner) movement?
First of all, they never would have happened; and second, they would have been over in a day had the right movement at that end been made. This would not have existed…What I was saying is that the darkness is getting darker. The more I put into it, the more I was ‘leaping out’ and pushing, the more that this thing was getting like a solid mass. And what was happening pari passu was that this movement…You know, here you are pulling in the planet (Adam), you are moving it into this orbit more and more. And so, more and more the ‘threat’ is there. Therefore the resistances have to increase. Unconscious again. The whole process is unconscious. Therefore, there would be any number of ‘gaps’ for little things like this ‘only ten horses in a field’ to happen. One after another.
The point is, Will this still go on? Probably not to that extent because…It means that we are to put our energies into another dimension of the work to be done. Very consciously. It requires a lot of hard work on their part; probably on mine also, I don’t know, where we have to work out a ‘process’ that is going to be extremely important. And (F3) is the one we have to do this with…
She probably has a very different work (than F1 and F2). She is going to be the real racehorse, if you know what I mean. Whatever she has to do is going to be proven in her performance, in her progress. Unlike (F2) where it was ‘holding firm’, get (Eve) off, knock this one out, this, that, whatever, just to get things where they should be. But with (F3) it will probably be entirely concentrated on this performance of hers and opening the way for the birth of the whole ‘system’ which of course has its other dimensions and ramifications, and which is what interests us.
Psychology in the West is so shallow, if people only knew. I mean, really the things that constitute success there are so shallow. They never touch anything that changes anything. By that system you can never change anything. You fortify it more and more. You know, in this case having to use the ego mechanism: it is so easily manipulated, my God – so tremendous. But then, you know things will all serve the purposes of the One, and this is it. So, clearly this is what is going to be a major feature of the days to come, the months to come. It is going to be the question of this mechanical response entering. Totally consciously, let’s say, drawing in a mechanical element very consciously and having it very central to the whole operation.
Let’s see where it leads.
October of 1994
Aeon Centre of Cosmology
The whole world yearns after freedom,
yet each creature is in love with his chains;
this is the first paradox and inextricable knot
of our nature.
‘Thoughts and Glimpses’